


Tish Hokni'es Kwi'shoret

by PeaceAndLongLife



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bonding, F/M, M/M, Pon Farr, Sick Jim, Space Husbands, Starfleet Academy, T'hy'la, Telepathic Bond, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Various Background Relationships - Freeform, Vulcan Kisses, Vulcan Mind Melds, slight AU, spirk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7221520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeaceAndLongLife/pseuds/PeaceAndLongLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock's eight and it is his time to be betrothed, but his mind refuses to be bonded as he has a T'hy'la.</p><p>Light years away, Jim Kirk suffers from chronic headaches. </p><p>Only time can bring them together, but not much time is left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Illogical Situation

**~ Tish Hokni'es Kwi'shoret ~**

   

 _It was illogical. Everything about this situation is illogical_. Spock thinks as he walks down the sandy pathway towards his home. The sun was already beginning to set, casting a deep orange, red glow in the sky. He was already on the older side of an unbonded Vulcan. What could possibly be the delay? He was not aware of any illness, nor was he mentally inadequate. All his classmates had already been bonded.

   Spock fought the worry of never having an intimate link with another. _My time will come._ He assures himself. His mind was already calling for a bondmate, it was a subtle but persistent tug of emptiness in the deep corner of his mind. It would pull harder after long periods without a deep meditation, for that was the only way to soothe the aching void.

   He couldn't bring this problem to his father, he'd only get a cold gaze and a scorning for his lack of emotional control.

   Spock should know better than to show a display of emotions, to slip up. It was illogical, it was not the Vulcan way.

   His control was nearly perfect except for this one, small problem, a bondmate - or a lack thereof. Somehow he knew, deep down in his _katra_ that something was different about him. It was not of his mixed blood, but of his mind.

   From the hushed muttering of those with -and without- a mate, Spock had not heard one mention of the consistent physical and mental pain brought on by the longing for their own.

   Spock examines the shadow of a nearby rock for a moment and determines that he was just on time for dinner. As he opens the door to his place of living, he notes that the air was two degrees cooler than it was programmed regularly. The contrast from outside even larger than normal.

   His mother had spent a long time on Vulcan, almost effortlessly adapting to the thin air and heavy gravity -even the heat- to a certain degree. With that being said, she still preferred the brisk air conditioning whenever she had the chance. It was a preference that Spock's father stubbornly divulged his wife in.

   "Spock! You're home." His mother looks surprised.

   "Of course I am. Classes have ceased for the day, and I have arrived at the mutual time of the agreement. You have no need to be surprised."

   "What can I say-" She stirs a pot of what Spock suspects from the smell is plomeek soup. "-I always loose track of time when I'm cooking. Though I do believe dinner is ready."

   The statement made no sense to Spock. How could someone possibly lose something that held no physical attributes, or three-dimensional properties? And what did the preparing of raw goods have with said persons ability the remember? He doesn't question the logic of her words out loud, for she was his mother and a human, so such flawed thinking could be forgiven.

   Spock continues watching her dish the soup - into two bowls - he notes. "Is father not joining us?" This could also explain the cooler temperature setting.

   Amanda carefully sets the bowls on the dining table. "No sweetheart, he's been called out for the night." Spock nods in acknowledgement. Maybe this is a sign from Sarek, perhaps now he could bring forth his unfounded worry without the looming possibility of public ridicule.

   His mother sits down and waves Spock over to the table. "Come on now, plomeek isn't the same cold."

   "I trust you should know that the temperature of the soup does not change the chemical composition. It will remain the same."

   She hangs her head and shakes it slowly in a very human way. "I know you know what I mean, Spock." He does know what she means, but he'd never admit it.

   Now sitting down, he takes a few spoonfuls of liquid before broaching the very personal topic. "Do you remember what it was like before you were bonded to my father?" Spock doesn't expect any real solutions from the question as she was a psi-null being. It was an approach that his mother liked to refer to as an 'ice breaker'.

   The human didn't show any signs of surprise, instead, she calmly finishes off her spoonful before answering. "I do, may I inquire why?"

   "Did you ever feel as if a part of you was missing?"

   Mother sighs, folding her hands and turning to her son, giving full attention. Spock knew from the actions that the conversation would take a serious turn. "In a way, yes, but I wasn't aware anything was missing until that hole was filled."

   Spock takes a few mental notes. "Have you seen anything in fathers mind that would lead you to suspect he held that emptiness?"

   "No, nothing I'm aware of." Amanda says. "Now, what's _really_ going on?" The look she was giving made Spock look away and down at his dinner.

   "Why have I not been chosen a bondmate yet?" Spock couldn't meet his mother's eyes quite yet.

   "Oh." She mouths. " _Oh._ You wish to be bonded?"

   Spock nods. "It is my wish."

   Amanda nods in understanding. "Your father and I -well it was mostly just me- didn't want to force you into something you didn't want to do, or would regret later on." _Vulcans do not regret_ he wants to point out but refrains. "Don't tell anyone this-" she leans in towards me with a hushed voice. "-but your father had a hard time dissolving his childhood bond for me."

   The image didn't fit quite right in his head. Sarek, his father _,_ a perfect stature of control and authority, going through turmoil and heartache? Spock had always viewed him as a being of unwavering logic, but now that smooth completion had a crack.

   "I will not regret it. I trust you and father will choose me a compatible mate." Spock finishes his soup and begins to clean up.

   "Wouldn't you prefer to choose yourself?" Amanda follows her son into the kitchen. 

   "No." Spock scrubs his hands under the cool running water. "I will now retire to my room for the night."

  "Well, goodnight then sweetheart. I'll talk to Sarek and make all the necessary arrangements."

   "Thank you-" Spock hesitates. "-It would be preferable if you did not mention my direct initiative of the subject."

   Amanda smiles. He may not know it, but he was basically asking her to lie for him. Human instinct was strong, it couldn't be conquered, only pushed aside momentarily.

   Spock's heads up to his room.

 

**•••**

 

   He'd centred himself, carefully analyzing the events of the day and reflected upon his thoughts and actions. His shields were now in peak form.

   He didn't dare touch the blackness of his mind.

   Spock slowly pulls himself back to reality, his awareness closely following, only to fall back under for a night of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me exploring the head canon I had of the interpretation of T'hy'la. 'Wouldn't the Vulcan mind recognize and distinguish their true bondmate? Wouldn't it try and stop itself from being wrongfully married? And 'Wouldn't both parties be equally affected by the bond? No matter how far apart and whether or not they've even met?'
> 
> This is, in part/sort of a kid fic. For convenience they are both the same age. (bridge crew roughly around the same as well) The first three chapters Spock and Kirk are 8 years old. After that they are 19. 
> 
> Jim was never sent to Tarsus IV and there is no evil step-father Frank.
> 
> So this means a mix of canon and fanon, but mostly personal headcanons with a dash of artistic license. If I do get something immensely wrong, just let me know.
> 
> (Title translates: I sense the consciousness calling to you from space...)


	2. An Illogical Pairing (This Is All Wrong)

   Spock wasn't counting the days, or hours, or seconds. His food consumption did not go down 12.3 percent. He didn't know that I'd been exactly 15 days, 3 hours, 24 minutes and approximately 24 seconds since his father took up the task of finding a suitable mate. No, that would be _illogical._

   And the way his heart beat just a millisecond faster than normal when given the news of a match was just a coincidence.

   "Her name is T'Pring." He announces soon after Spock arrives home from school.

   Spock recognizes the name but does not speak right away, he first makes sure his thoughts were clear and voice even. "We are acquainted."

   Sarek nods. "I was made aware."

   "When will the ceremony commence?"

   "Two days time."

   Now both men nod, concluding the conversation and returning to their previous activities.

"Come on now, is that all you two have to say on the situation?" Amanda walks into the room casually, as if she wasn't just eavesdropping.

   "Yes." Sarek answers. "There are no other details that needed to be addressed at this very moment."  

   Spock easily recognized the scornful face his mother was making, and what it meant. She used it very few times, only when she wished to speak to her mate...alone. This was Spock's cue to leave. "I wish to be excused. There is an assignment that needs my immediate attention."

   Sarek nods. "You are dismissed."

   Spock walks quietly to his room, sits on the floor, and takes out his PADD, for there really was an assignment, Vulcans do not lie.

    He had every intention of completing his work, but one glance at the first question and Spock knew his mind was not in peak concentration mode. Forcing his brain to calculate while in such a state would not be beneficial for anyone.

   As quickly as he grabbed his PADD, Spock sets it aside. There were other things on his mind, more urgent, illogical things.

   In approximately 48 hours his mind was to he joined with another. The dark void in Spock's mind soon to be filled with T'Prings presence.

 _T'Pring,_ he ponders. She was a year younger than himself. Spock would occasionally she her in the halls of the school, or on his way home.

   She was pretty - scientifically - her features pleasantly symmetrical and of a healthy, average build. T'Pring will do just fine.

 

**_~ 2 Days Later ~_ **

 

   T'Pring arrived punctually, dawning identical ceremonial robes with Spock. She crossed the threshold with an air of elegance and poise. Her parents closely followed.

   Spock greets her with a polite nod, escorting her into the living area where T'Pau and his own parents were already seated.

   "The intended have arrived. We shall begin." T'Pau stands, signally everyone else to do so as well. "Greetings to everyone present. We are gathered on these sands for the bonding of Spock and T'Pring." She turns towards Sarek. "Sarek, son of Skon, is your child of age for bonding?"

   Sarek glanced quickly at his son. "He is."

   T'Pau moves on to face T'Prings father. "Sorek, son of Sutok, is your child of age for bonding?"

   Sorek nods. "She is."

   "Let it begin." T'Pau motions the children forward. "Spock, son of Sarek and Amanda, are you prepared for bonding?"

   Spock's heart rate was gradually rising, even against all his control. His mind was attacking his body in desperation, it needed this bond as much as it needed water. "I am."

   "T'Pring, daughter of Sorek and T'Luba, are you prepared for bonding?"

   T'Pring doesn't look over  
to Spock. "I am."

   "We will process to a mind-link." T'Pau reaches out, fingers splayed out effortlessly on the meld points of both the children, their eyes close instinctively. "Our minds, one and together...touching; yet not touching, apart but never apart..."

  "Touching, yet not touching; apart but never apart..." Spock and T'Pring chant in unison and all of the sudden they weren't alone in their minds.

   Spock's mind was immediately seized with a hot and red presence. For a moment they maintained their shields, taking the time to acquaint themselves with the new sensation.

   Even through his shields, he could sense when she was ready to initiate a full mind-meld.

   If Spock's mind was already flooded with T'Prings during a shielded surface meld, he pondered what a deep meld would feel like.

   Gradually they pulled their defences back, as not to cause shock and trauma to the mind. The first true meld of a Vulcans life was very important but very dangerous.

   As touch telepaths, it was natural to feel others thoughts and - lack of -emotion. It had been long proven that while still in the womb, Vulcan fetuses can project and sense feelings from their mothers, even if they were psi-null like Amanda.

   But that was just experiencing something through someone else's eyes. In a meld, you don't simply see _through_ someone's eyes, you become the eyes, and a memory feels as if it was one of your own, and _it is_ your own because in a meld two separate minds become one.

   This is why the first meld of a Vulcan child was to be supervised by an elder and silently coached through. The shock alone to the brain, of an entire being with their own thoughts, memories and desires being thrown together would be enough to cripple a Vulcan mentally for life.

   It took time but eventually Spock and T'Pring fully melded. A wave of satisfaction came over him, but it did not originate from him. Here, no secrets could be kept. She was everywhere, well _almost._

 _'Spock...?'_ The voice was clear in his mind.

 _'T'Pring, I believe we should establish a link_ _now.'_ Spock replies. ' _I am unsure how to proceed but I believe that it will come naturally.'_

   She hesitates, even in thought. ' _You are still blocking my presence. You must fully give yourself before the link can be formed.'_

   Spock wasn't holding back, not intentionally and certainly with not anything he was aware of.

   T'Pring projects the exact location of the emptiness. ' _Here'_

   Why was his mind subconsciously shielding the one part that longed for contact? Spock tries to remove the wall that was blocking the establishment of a crucial link.

   Any attempt he made was futile.

   T'Pring reaches out to test the wall. Her mind touches it and Spock was overwhelmed with dread.

_No. No. No. No. This is not right. This is not how it is supposed to be._

   She ignores the frantic protests and pushes harder.

   Spock gasps in pain. The harder she pushed the more excruciating the feeling. He felt as if someone had poured a failed chemistry experiment into his mind. The friction that T'Pring mind was causing the experiment to set on fire. Now flames were licking the inside his skull, singeing every nerve ending and neural pathway.

   ' _I've almost got it_ _.'_ T'Pring says. Every syllable of the words felt like a wildly slashing lipra.

   ' _Please! No!_ _'_ Spock begs, screaming both mentally and physically. His logic was not compromised in this moment, the pain was indeed so great that expressing it was the most logical action.

   He could feel in now. The wall had a crack. It wouldn't be long before it crumbled.

_No._

_No._

_She can not._

_This is wrong._

_Everything was wrong._

   The crack started to split -along with his brain- and with one last frantic attempt, Spock collects all his remaining strength and yanks himself from the meld and directly to the floor.

\----------------------------------------------  
[A/N: I'd like to note that the official ceremony was taken from the _The Vulcan Language by Mark R. Gardner & The Vulcan Language Institute _which you can find here: http://www.vli-online.org/vlif.htm

And I couldn't find any official names of T'Prings parents so I just made some up. If you do know, then just let me know so I can change it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to note that the official ceremony was taken from the The Vulcan Language by Mark R. Gardner & The Vulcan Language Institute which you can find here: http://www.vli-online.org/vlif.htm
> 
> And I couldn't find any official names of T'Prings parents so I just made some up. It you do know, then just let me know so I can change it.


	3. An Illogical Coma (The Aftermath)

Spock falls, his head catching the corner of the side table. In an instinctive panic, he reaches into the dark of his mind and grasps frantically until he loses consciousness.

  At that very moment, on Earth, James T. Kirk also loses consciousness and is out for two whole weeks.

   Now everything was dark, he felt empty, hollowed out. Spock knew he was inside the void. Falling, _falling._

   And then there was a light, a brilliant, all-encompassing light that soothed his very bones like water to a dying man. This was right. This is it. He was no longer in pain. The void was now the heart of the radiant sensation. With every breath Spock took, the light pulsated honest love and pure affection.

   One moment it was perfect and the next, he was plunged back into despair. Only now it felt infinitely worse. Spock had a sneak preview, a small sample of a large portion. Now not only his mind ached, his heart did too.

 

**•••**

 

   Spock jolted upright in bed, his breathing heavy and head light. From the light streaming through the curtain, he estimated it to be late afternoon.

   "You are awake." Sarek appears in his doorway, with an expressionless face.

   "Forgive me father-" Spock rubs his temples in an attempt to soothe the pain emulating there. "-I do not remember the events after my meld with T'Pring." From what he could deduce the chances of a successful meld were extremely low.

   "You are excused, it is a logical response to your predicament." Sarek subtlety gestures for permission to enter the room. Spock gives it. "Your mind is still healing, it has temporarily blocked certain memories from your consciousness to minimize the risk of reliving the trauma and permanently damaging your brain." Sarek explains, kneeling down beside his son's bed. "They will return soon enough."

    Spock smooths out the wrinkles on his robe. It wasn't his ceremonial robe, as he recalled last wearing. He had on his causal one; mostly used for meditation or sleeping.

   The exchange of clothing coupled with his stiff underworked muscles drew Spock to only one logical conclusion. "How long was I in a healing trance?"

   "21 days."

   Spock takes in the answer the same time his stomach turns in hunger.

   Sarek notices. "Your mother will soon bring sustenance. For now, you must rest. We may talk when your memories return, or, if it is a benefit to your healing time, we can talk in the morning."

  "Morning will do just fine father."

"Rest well, son." Sarek exits.

Spock could pinpoint the exact moment he entered into his mother's vision. Her entire demeanour relaxed, and Spock could even hear a sigh of relief. Somehow, illogically, she was surprised to see him in such a vigour state, even after being alerted to his condition. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Despite suffering from temporary amnesia, and minor discomfort I am doing well."

She smiles and hands over a cup of _theris-masu_ and a plate of warm _kreila._ "I imagine you'll feel better soon. You always do."

"A healing trance is very powerful," Spock states, between sips of his tea.

Amanda sits down beside Spock's feet. "Very powerful at scaring your poor old human mother half to death. I'd prefer if you'd never induce one again."

    "I would never enter a healing trance if it was not necessary."  Doing so would be foolish, and dangerous.

   His mother sighs. She lives on Vulcan, is married to a Vulcan and has a Vulcan son; yet somehow, she'd never get fully accustomed to the harsh logical and very literal thinking of the Vulcan way.

 

**~ _Earth: One Week Earlier~_**

 

Jim woke up groggy and disoriented, unaware of where he was. He tried to sit up, but the horrible ache he felt in his head was too much to handle.

Almost immediately he was overcome with a gripping feeling of emptiness. His heart began to beat quick and feather-like, his chest felt heavy and his hands began to shake. The panic builds steadily until all he could do was scream.

**•••**

   The next time Jim awoke it was quickly and calmly.

   "Finally Jimmy, I thought you were gonna die on me." Someone playfully jokes. The reluctant sigh of relief followed soon after, heavily contradicted the tone of voice. They really were worried, but needed to play it cool as to possibly tricking themselves into believing everything was okay.

Jim rubs his tired eyes. "Sam?"

"Yeah." Jim didn't need to see him to know that he was smiling. "What took you so long?"

"Whud ya mean?" The boy attempts the stretch but is stopped by the yank of an IV cord in his hand. He looked away quickly from the needle. "Why'm I in a hospital?"

Sam sits down on the single chair beside the bed. It had a blanket draped haphazardly over the back and a few pillows lazily stacked underneath. "You collapsed during class, and just...didn't get back up till today."

Jim goes to nod but stops as the memory of pain resurfaces. "How long have I been here?"

"Two weeks."

"Does mum know?"

"I sent a transmission, but she can't make it back for a few months. Deep space or whatever." Sam scoffs, what kind of mother leaves her two preteen sons alone on a planet, light years away, just to gallivant across the stars, facing death every second. Sam would never understand his families fascination of burning gas, dark nothingness and a large rock.

Jim knew never to get his hopes up when it comes to his mother, but somehow it still hurts, even if you expect disappointment. "Am I sick or something?"

   "I'm not 100% sure, but I think I overheard some doctors saying they couldn't find what caused your coma-"

  The doors open and in comes what Jim assumes is the doctor, tall and very pretty. "Hello Jim, may I call you Jim?" She asks while checking the monitors and tapping into her PADD.

  "Okay."

  She smiles softly. "Alright then, Jim. My name is Dr Hill. How are are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

  "Better, my head still hurts a little, though." He answers. "Is something wrong with me?"

   " _Medically_ , no." Dr Hill sets down the PADD and lifts Jim's small hand. "I'm just going to take the IV out now, you'll just feel a little pinch." Jim holds his breath and squishes his eyes closed. He didn't even feel a thing.

   "If nothing's wrong does that make him crazy?" Sam pipes in eagerly. Oh, the potential teasing material tray would cause. "If so, I called it before he was born."

   The doctor puts a hand on his shoulder. "No, sweetie, he isn't crazy." Sam curses under his breath. Dr Hill pretends not to hear. "Just because we couldn't find what triggered the coma, doesn't mean that something didn't cause it. From what our instruments gather, he's perfectly healthy."

  "Does that mean I get to go home now?" Jim asks hopefully. It was a long shot but he might as well take the chance.

   "Not yet, I'd like to keep you under observation for at least a few nights. Make sure you don't go slip back into a coma. You're also on some heavy painkillers and I want to see if I could find what's causing those migraines of yours." She turns to Sam. "Are you sure he didn't hit his head when he collapsed?"

   Sam shrugs. "I don't know, I wasn't there, but everyone that was there said he didn't."

   Dr Hill takes another look at the monitors. "Alright. I'm just going to go get some hypos and I'll be back in a few minutes."

 

**_~Vulcan: Present Day~_ **

 

   The next morning Spock had regained most of his strength. His memories were still firmly blocked, though.

   "I've already prepared some breakfast for you-" Amanda tells Spock, first thing as he wanders into the kitchen for sustenance. "-It's sitting at the table."

  "Thank you."

    Spock sits a few feet away from Sarek, who was already seated and also enjoying a morning meal. "Son." He greets.

   "Father."

   Sarek takes a poised sip from a delicately crafted cup. "I believe now would be the optimal time to inform you of the events regarding your health."

       "I agree-" Spock nods in approval, slowly picking at the food in front of him.  Except for the meal the previous day, he hasn't eaten in weeks. But Spock was no longer hungry. "-You may continue."

   "You are aware of the intent to be betrothed to T'Pring, am I correct?" Sarek begins. If Spock didn't know better, he'd assume the furrow of wrinkles on his father's forehead meant he was hesitant, and a little flabbergasted

   "I am."

"When T'Pau attempted to join your minds into a full depth meld-" he absentmindedly gestured to the meld points on his own face. "-your mind fought against the joining as hard as it could. When your mental strength was not enough, your instinctive and primal ancestry resorted to physical strength; violence if necessary." 

   Amanda joins the men at the table, with a small bowl of varying Vulcan produce.

   Questions were freely floating through Spock's mind as he attempts to restore order and logic to his thinking. "Is T'Pring unharmed?"

   "A healer has examined her and assured us of no long term ailments."

   Spock musters up enough confidence from the good news to ask the heavy question that had been plaguing him since he awoke. "Is there something wrong with me?"

   Amanda frowns and reaches out a reassuring hand. "Oh, sweetheart! Nothing is wrong with you!"

   "My son, you have a T'hy'la."

Spock vaguely recognized the word from a history lesson on Vulcan before the time of awakening, a few months back. He was unsure on the exact definition but knew it held a very strong and powerful significance. Spock looks to his mother for clarification.

"Sarek-" She clears her throat to distract from the wink she gave Spock. It was a strange human mannerism. "-forgive me, my memory is a little hazy. Would you please explain to me what a T'hy'la is again?"

Both Vulcans noticed the nearly perfect pronunciation of the word. It was astounding, as Vulcan was not her native tongue. Spock knew she was more than proficient in the language but had rarely heard her speak it.

Now, more out of habit than courtesy, Sarek and Spock use standard English in their home and around Amanda. It was a small detail that tended to get lost among other things. Even as a Vulcan, there are only so many facts, statistics and memories that you can actively remember.

"T'hy'la has no direct translation to any other language, for it almost exclusive to Vulcan - any species can be subjected to the phenomenon as long as one of the parties is Vulcan. The closest translation, though, would be a friend, brother, and lover. A T'hy'la bond is a very rare, sacred and sought after companionship. Do not take it lightly."

Spock looks towards his mother with curiosity. She had her head cradled in her hands, staring softly at Sarek with a content smile. Spock rules out 'daydreaming' as she was actively listening to every word being said. Now, what Terran mannerism was she displaying?

"Every few centuries, out of every being from every planet only two are born with absolute compatibility. Complete mental, physical and chemical 'puzzle pieces'. Neither is whole without the other."

"I remember Spock asking me a few weeks back if I ever felt emptiness or as if a part of me was missing before I was bonded to you." Amanda recalls. The conversation was still very clear in her son's mind.

"I assumed the feeling was typical of unbonded Vulcans." Spock clarifies. "I wished to be bonded to alleviate my pain."

  "You assumed wrong."

  "I am now aware of my ignorance."

   Sarek lets out a very un-Vulcan sigh. "I wish to inform you I know how to proceed in this particular event, but I can not lie."

   Amanda undoubtedly felt the restrictions through the bond and offers her two fingers in a kiss of reassurance. Spock averts his gaze at the display of intimacy. "We will figure this out together."

"What do I do now?" Spock asks. "When do I get to meet my T'hy'la?"

Several seconds of silence followed the question.

"You need to be made aware that you may never meet them. The universe is infinite and I don't need to be a Vulcan to know the chances of you finding a single being is basically impossible." His mother's voice softens, but the impact it delivered did not. "Do not let your Vulcan side discourage you with facts. Embrace the hope of your human genes, facts can be wrong."

Sarek gave the Vulcan equivalent of a side-eye. Both parents then got that subtle look in their eyes that led Spock to believe they were communicating telepathically. Spock longed even harder for his T'hy'la.

"What I believe your mother is attempting to explain is that even against all odds there is a possibility they may fall in your favour. Do not, however, mourn for something you have no control over. If the time comes and you are without your other half, do not be surprised with death."

_I am not going to die willingly knowing I have not touched thee._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vulcan Translations:  
> theris-masu - Herbal Tea  
> kreila - a Vulcan breakfast food resembling biscuits; a flat bread-like food


	4. An Illogical Request (Knock Me Out)

"Dammit Bones!" Jim grits angrily through his teeth. "Can you be any louder?! And turn the stupid lights off!"

   McCoy wanted to laugh at the sight of a cranky Jim curled in the fetus position on the floor of the Academy dorm with a pillow pressed against each ear but he'd known Jim long enough to know better than to poke the sleeping bear. He'd learnt that the hard way; lets just say he's never been more glad to be a med student. "Forget your meds again?"

   "I didn't forget to take them." Jim snaps. "I forgot to get a refill. Oh, and _turn off the lights._ "

   McCoy steps carefully over his roommates body and flicks off the light switch on the wall. Why did Starfleet decide to cut the funding for dorm room renovations when they were so horribly outdated.

   Jim groans into the floor and Bones takes it as thanks.

   "Need anything buddy?" Bones lowers his voice accordingly. "I'm heading to the store for some errands."

"Some of the strongest drugs and most illegal drugs you can find, And several bottles of Romulan ale."

He was a loyal friend, but not good enough to go to jail for life. Bones slips on a Starfleet hoodie with a smile. "Alright, got it. One medication refill. See ya in a few."

"Just go already." Jim waves his hand lazily. The pain was steadily increasing with no signs of letting back. If his linguistics professor hadn't decided to keep the class late with a surprise test on pickup day he wouldn't be in this mess. For 10 years he had his plan down pat, but since joining the academy that plan had fallen to shreds.

His head was hit with another spark of pain enough to pull a surprised gasp for Jim. The pillows weren't doing much for comfort and Jim wished he'd originally pushed that extra step to the bed instead of collapsing were he had.

Jim hugs his knees closer to his chest. It aggravated him to no end that there was nothing he could possibly do to make the pain stop. Only the medication eased the relentless migraine and it made the high and mighty James T. Kirk feel helpless.

He closed his eyes and prayed Bones would get back soon.

**•••**

"Ah!" Jim shoots his hand to his neck in shock. "What was that?"

Bones backs away nervously, hiding the hypo guiltily behind his back. "You wanted drugs! I got the strongest legal sedative on this side of the Galaxy. Don't worry though, I administered a _very_ low dose, just something to tie you over till your pain meds kick in."

Jim could already feel his eyelids getting heavy and the drowsiness spreading through his veins. "...how long...?"

"A few hours? A few days...?" He trails off.

Jim wanted to be mad but he couldn't find the strength to open his eyes, and his limbs were already weaker than wet noodles. "Mhhmm...bed...plea-" his demand was cut short with a loud and obnoxious snore.

**•••**

The sun was up when Jim awoke. He yawned and stretches his tired arms. "Damn Bones, that's some good stuff, care to give that to me every night?"

McCoy jumps in surprise, clearly not expecting him to be awake. "Good morning sleeping beauty."

"I couldn't have been out that long." Jim laughs, for once he was completely rested and energized. His headache was gone too.

"Two days straight. Told everyone you came down with the Levodian flu." Bones sets down his PADD on the shared desk and reaches for the tricorder he 'borrowed' from the training medbay. Whenever Jim would mention it he always received a quick 'I fully intend to return it before I die.'

"They believed that?"

Bones runs the tricorder over him. "I could tell people you had Pa'nar Syndrome and nobody would think twice."

Jim eventually swats the device away, he knew Bones had all the readings he needed and was only now doing so to annoy him. "I thought that was strictly a Vulcan problem."

Bones pats him on back a little harder then necessary. "With your immune system anything is possible. I passed my medicine class just by mentioning I was the poor soul that assigned as your roommate."

   "Oh come on-" Jim strips down nude and begins rummaging through his drawers for a clean pair of clothes. Bones didn't bother to look away, he'd seen the kid naked more times then he'd seen himself naked. "-I was a perfectly healthy child. That's got to count for something."

   "Not in my books it doesn't. I don't even want to think about a mini you running around. I may have glanced at your criminal record and mistook it as a encyclopedia."

     Jim throws a pair of jeans at McCoy. "Shut up, I need some food."

**•••**

"How's 1/2 of my favourite newlyweds? Russian housewife treating you well?" Jim teases, joining Sulu outside the main building on a bench with a dull and tasteless replicated cheeseburger. Oh, how he missed the taste of genuine animal flesh, especially the ones from the farm back in Iowa.

Sulu looks down at the wedding ring on his finger and smiles. " _Pavel,_ and I are doing just perfect."

"Man-" Jim leans back further, taking his time chewing every bite. "-the sex must be good because _you are whipped,_ dude."

"Laugh now, but one day, I guarantee you'll be as whipped as I am. Or maybe worse."

Jim watches the various species and genders walk by and begins to loosely tally who he'd slept with. "Not a chance."

   Sulus face drops and slides a few inches away from his friends "Wait a minute, don't you have the Levodian flu?"

   "All clear, doc approved." Jim raises his hands in surrender.

   Sulu scuttles back towards Jim, their knees touching again. There was plenty of free space left on the bench, but both men were very tactile men in nature. "Good to here, too bad we can't catch up now. I've got a Hand-to-Hand combat exam in a few."

Jim pats Sulu on the back. "Good luck buddy. If you get paired with Chekov please don't hesitate to inform me. I'd love to see two hot, young and sweaty lovers go at it. Pun intended."

Sulu gets up and begins walking to class. "In your dreams Kirk!" He yells over his shoulder and flips him a double bird.

_Very classy Hikaru._

Jim's PADD beeps twice, demanding his attention. It was once again time to take his medication. He reaches into the stash in his back pocket and swallows one dry.


	5. An Illogical Reaction (Red Sand, Red Hand)

The sun beatdown on my exposed skin like chilled raindrops. The air was thin and dry but he had no troubles breathing.

With each step, the flimsy sandals would kick up the red dust until a small cloud of sand would follow closely behind.

Up ahead were vast and harsh looking mountains. Wild stiff rocks protruded from the sides as if to create a natural surrounding barrier. Perhaps they were protecting something was entering...or escaping.

   Jim had never once seen this place but somehow he knew exactly what it was called - _The L-langon Mountains_.

  The closer he got, the more persistent the feeling of fear became. He repressed it immediately. Something was compelling him onward...a sense of duty.

   Jim whipped around, alerted by a low growl, predatory and territorial. Just for a brief moment of time, fear slipped through his guards at the reminder of how he had nothing to defend himself with.

   The growling got louder and Jim couldn't identify where it was coming from until it was too late.

   A very large mountain lion type creature with tough leathery grey skin pounced from a nearby dune.

   Jim hits the ground hard, knocking the wind from his dry lungs. The sand did nothing to ease the blunt impact.

   The creatures paws had Jim pinned down by his shoulders and was now examining its catch. Clearly pleased with its self, it retracts it claws and kneads into the soft muscle tissue of Jim's arms. The pain was great but he refused to cry out.

  As the creature snarls only inches from Jim's face, another sound was heard and the creature fell limp off of Jim.

    Jim was startled, confused and even more grateful for the mysterious stranger. "I'd say thank you, but I don't believe that would cover my gratitude."

   The stranger emerges from behind the creature and simply stands, expressionless. A warmth spreads though his body. Something struck Jim as odd about the man, until he pieces together that that man wasn't a man after all; with upswept eyebrows, silky black hair and a strong edged face, he was a Vulcan and he was on Vulcan.

   With much hesitance he extends his long slender hand. Jim was struck by the beauty of the man and smiles warmly. He didn't miss the Vulcan furrow his eyebrows in what seemed to be confusion. He reaches up for the offered hand and was devastated when he couldn't make contact.

   And slowly the Vulcan faded away along with the sandy desert and in faded Jim's drab dorm room walls. It was early, way too early for James T. Kirk to be awake.

   His sheets were damp and his skin was covered in a slick layer of cool sweat. _Great, I might have well just wet the bed._ Jim groans, kicking the sheets off the bed.

   With the conjoined absence of blankets, cold sweat and a tendency of sleeping in the buff, it could only lead to Jim shivering with clenched teeth.

   He'd might as well take the time to pop another pill and get dressed. There was no falling back to sleep for Jim, not with a dream that realistic and weird. It was futile to try and analyze a dream but this one didn't quite seem as much as a dream than a memory. The feelings and sensations were too real to be conjured by a brain.

   Jim refused to believe it was a dream, for even his greatest imagination and fantasies could never have created someone so breathtaking. However improbable, man's limit was perfection. Man cannot create beyond perfection.

**•••**

Xenolinguistics ran late today, the substitute was late and was adamant to get the required lesson finished. This overlapped considerably into Jim's usual lunch time (After weeks of data collecting in several variable areas, he'd calculated the most optimal time to eat). And people call him a no-good-slacker. To top it off, he'd forgotten to grab breakfast on his way out in the morning and was now exceedingly hungry.

   When Jim approached the mess hall he groaned outwardly. A tangle of voices easily carried through from the other side of the closed door. He roughly estimates at least a couple dozen students and staff occupying the hall.

   Jim would've preferred to eat out, but the food at the academy was too cheap and decent enough to pass up, especially with Jim's small handful of credits.

   The doors slide open when approached, and the noise pollution almost tripled in volume. Jim hardly recognized the room with so much occupants and life.

   He eyes the sole replicator in anticipation before he eyed the 12 person long line awaiting the usage of said replicator.

   Uncharacteristically Jim squares his jaw and clenches his fist as his stomach starts to violently rumble. 'This is so _stupid._ I shouldn't have to be punished for my teachers lack of punctuality." He mumbles, tapping his foot impatiently.

The more he thought about the line, the longer it seemed to get. Maybe he really was coming down with Levodian flu.

   Finally after several agonizing minutes it was his turn. He reaches out towards the screen just as it goes black and seizes all functions.

  This only pushed Jim's anger further till he reached his limit. With a loud expletive, his sends his fist flying just barely missing the replicator and colliding with the brick wall. Pain spread through his arm, only causing him more anger.

   Most of the occupants of the mess hall had gone silent at the outburst with all eyes on Jim and his now bleeding hand.

   As quickly as the rage came, it left and Jim had enough common sense to get out of there as soon as possible. Sooner or later some one would inform a superior officer and frankly, Jim didn't want to be around when they did.

**•••**

   "What the heck do you want?" Bones questioned. He'd been pulled out of class by his reckless roommate so he better have a damn good reason for doing so.

   Jim sheepishly brought his hand out from behind his back.

    Bones takes one look at the hand and drops his head into his hands. Of course.  _Of course_. "What'd you do this time? Got in a six-to-one fight again? I keep telling ya' go straight for the balls with odds like that." He cautiously cradles the hand for examination. The blood dripping from the scrapped knuckles not bothering him one bit.

   "I didn't get in a fight, _Leonard_." He sighs like a exasperated teenager. "I might've...punched a wall."

   "How am I not surprised. " Bones gently massages my knuckles. I wince at the sensation. "Good thing you're as doped up as you are. You've basically shattered all the bones in your hand. I've seen grown men weep like babies at injuries less severe then this. What'd the wall do to you?"

   "I have no idea-" Jim starts. "-I was feeling a little off all day, I missed lunch, class ran late, there was a huge line at the replicator and then just as its my turn, it breaks. Everything just kept building and building until I snapped. I don't know what happened but I've never been that angry before."

   Bones nods. His mouth was set in a harsh line and was slowly nodding along. Jim could tell he flipped from best friend mode to Doctor mode. "...And you're feeling fine now?"

   "Perfectly normal, just with a little more breakage and blood."

  "Hmm...That's odd. How about you get your firm butt over to the med building and get that hand regenerated and we'll talk about this later? I've got better thing to do now, like actually learning." Bones waves, slipping back into the classroom.

   Jim clutches his hand to his chest and walks his firm butt to the med building.


	6. An Illogical Diagnosis (What Are You Doing Here?)

Little did Jim know, that almost pulverizing a replicator and his hand in the process was only the beginning.

**•••**

It had been over three hours since he'd taken his pain medication and the headaches still hadn't wavered. He'd even followed the obscenely strict rules on the bottle this time.

  Jim was sitting, with arms around his legs in the windowsill of the library watching as the rain fell. Doing so usually calmed Jim, no matter how stressed he'd get but now it was doing absolutely nothing and it was frustrating. He just wanted to get back to his dorm and curl up in his sheets in misery but he didn't have enough strength to stand up.

   Again Jim's anger flared. Nothing seemed to be going his way lately. His headaches were only getting stronger, his teenage mood swings unpredictable and to top it off he was currently having the longest dry spell of his life.

   Another flash of lightning lit up the campus with a thundering clap following immediately. The storm was now directly above the academy.

  If he wasn't in such a crippling state of discontentment he'd have run outside in a heartbeat, silently waiting till the next clap of thunder and as when it came he'd scream as loud as he could, at the top of his lungs. Jim used to do so as a small child, though originally calling for his mother hoping she would hear him call from space.

   "Are you alright, Jim?"  Chekov taps him on the shoulder to get his attention.

   Jim rolls his head against the wall to look at him. Chekov always reminded Jim of a small puppy, and now, with a look of worry, he did more than ever. This got a brief upturn of a smile out of him.

   "I feel like punching a hole through the window." Jim grumbles.

   "I don't think that'd be a good idea, especially with the incident at lunch."

  "You saw that, huh?"

   Chekov nods. "Two tables down."

   Jim looks hesitantly at the small man. "Mind helping me back to my room? I'd go on my own but you just never know..." He gestures to his head.

"It would be my honour." Chekov grins and extends a supportive arm. Jim graciously takes it. Together they brave the pouring rain, with Chekov fondly recalling memories while Jim rested a heavy head on his shoulder.

**•••**

Jim was busy walking between classes when he accidentally bumped in a solid, burly man. It wasn't his fault, he was carrying a large -and very heavy- array of paperbound textbooks for his history class and was just too focused on not dropping the near artifacts. And yet, he still dropped them.

"Watch where you're going, _slut."_ The man tilts his head from side to side and curls his upper lip in an attempt of intimidation, or possibly as a taunt. Whatever it was, he was asking for a fight.

That was all it took for Jim to land a solid right hook to the face. The man falls to his knees, clutching his nose as blood drips down his hand.

Jim collects the books he dropped and continues on his way as if nothing happened.

**•••**

It was on the fourth day that Jim almost died.

**•••**

He hadn't slept a wink the night before, practically paralyzed with pain. He'd already doubled his dose of pain meds but he was no longer experiencing his usual headaches, though he wished he was. Compared to what Jim was feeling now, his old headaches seemed like a peaceful garden on a hot summers day.

   Jim could no longer think straight, everything was just a hazy fog.

On top of the pain, he was terribly horny. Jim had long given up attempting to connect the two seemingly unrelated symptoms, in favour of acting upon the urge. This would provide a brief relief of pain, long enough for Jim to catch his breath and settle his heart rate.

   Now Jim was lying in a bathtub, letting the ice cold water cool his burning skin till he went numb. It helped considerably and Jim took the opportunity to lean his head back and close his eyes.

   Jim must've fallen asleep in the bath because the next thing he remembers is Bones frantically leaning over him, baffled and confused by his tricorder readings and calling for help.

**•••**

   Jim awoke next up in a hospital bed with a horrible sense of déjà vu of when he was eight. Except for this time, it wasn't Sam sitting patiently beside him, it was Bones.

   "...Hey." Jim croaks, accidentally pulling on the IV attached to his hand. His pain was subsided greatly, yet a horrible feeling was left in his stomach.

   Bones looks up, surprised and grins. "Nice to see you breathing again, Buddy."

   "Where am I?" Jim asks looking around. It wasn't the academy medbay he'd gradually familiarized himself with. The big difference being the overwhelming amount of tools, tech and meds.

   "Whoa there-" Bones gently repositions his head and neck. "-I wouldn't move too much if I were you. Your levels are so all over the place I'm surprised you can even talk." He leaves a hand resting on his shoulder, almost as if it was an act of comfort.

   "You won't get off that easy. Even death won't sto-" Jim's words hang in the air, incomplete for only seconds before the dark feeling in his stomach bubbles over and seeps into his veins. It spread hastily throughout his body until he was consumed whole by the darkness. Jim's chest begins to tighten to the point where he could neither inhale or exhale. He convulses violently on the bed. Bones held his wrists down firmly, yelling for assistance. In a second, several other doctors enter the room.

   How many times is Jim going to have to listen to Bones yelling like a whiney  
old man until he blacks out? Apparently once in a day wasn't enough.

**•••**

"He is gaining consciousness." A familiar voice states, but Jim couldn't quite remember whose it was.

"How can you tell?" This voice Jim recognized instantly, he couldn't forget it even if he tried. Bones pauses for a moment as if he remembered a sudden fact. "Actually, don't answer that."

Jim could also tell he was waking up and immediately wishes he weren't. With awareness comes pain, and Jim was in a terrifying amount of it.

   He'd never believed in no-win scenarios, but the situation at hand was surely pointed towards one. Jim had also had never quite come to terms with the reality of death. He'd always thought it'd be something he would face in the far, far future.

Jim couldn't open his eyes, nor move from his current position. Still, though, the light was too bright through his lids.

He could hear a set of footsteps retreat and a few minutes later, several more coming. Not long after he was being poked and prodded, scanned and examined.

"Can you hear me, James?" A doctor asks. Jim grumbles unintelligibly for an answer. He wouldn't dare attempt to talk when simply breathing felt like inhaling flames. "Good to see you're awake."

"Excuse me Doc,-" Bones pipes up. "-have you come to a prognosis yet?"

The doctor sighs heavily. "No, we haven't. No one here has ever seen such a degree of neurochemical imbalance, and certainly not anything with his particular set of symptoms. We could easily administer the correct amount of chemicals needed to stabilize his levels, but they're just too unpredictable to proceed carefully. We can't afford to make a mistake. If we miscalculate by even the smallest fraction his life could be on the line. The most baffling part is that nothing seems to be _causing_ these changes. He is however heavily subdued and on the highest, safest possible dose of pain medication. You said he suffers from migraines?"

It came as to no surprise to Jim that they couldn't find what was wrong, he'd been through this all before.

Bones scoffs. "Migraine doesn't quite cut it. It's more like someone consistently smashing your skull against a solid cement brick wall. He'd been getting 'em since he was eight, doctors were just as confused as you are now, he was in perfect medical condition."

"It is only logical to assume that these two separate events stem from the same, singular problem." There it was again, the mysterious voice he heard before, except now it was very obvious who it was, it was Turak, his Vulcan Xenobiology professor. Jim didn't know why one of his teachers was in his hospital room, for they were merely only acquainted. It seemed like he was giving some solid advice, though, which was nice.

   "Yet, there is no physical source." The doctor replies, clearly baffled.

   "Have you weighed the possibility that source of the problem is to be of mental origins?"

  Bones laughs sarcastically. "What're you saying? That he's insane? Sure, he was a pain in my ass most of the time but he's not crazy."

  "I am not accusing him of being mentally unsound. I am only suggesting that his mind is what is being affected." Turak explains.

   "There is no known human psychological ailment that would cause such a drastic physical symptoms." Another voice adds, female, most likely another doctor.

"Have you considered it to be of alien origin?" The room goes silent for several moments, except the rhythmic beeping of Jim's pulse being monitored. Everyone seemed to be waiting on Turak's response. "I believe I know what is ailing Jim." He finally states.

"Well go on then!" Bones yells exasperated. If Jim could laugh right now, he would. McCoy's distaste for the Vulcan way was well known around the academy campus.

"I require speaking with Jim alone."

"The hell you are! I'm not leaving you green blooded hobgoblin alone with Jim. Besides, he's not going to be able to do much talking. Right, Jim?" Jim manages a small smile.

Turak exhales thoughtfully. "...I will allow it only this once, perhaps you could be of assistance in answering a few questions."

Jim just knew Bones was simultaneously smiling and glaring dangerously.

Footsteps leave until it was only the three of them left in the hospital room.

"Spit it out pointy eared ba-"

"He is experiencing pon farr."

"Pon- what?"

"Pon farr, a Vulcan time of mating."

"Dammit Jim, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"


	7. An Illogical Assumption (Two Old Men Bicker, Jim Forced To Listen)

Spock knew what was happening, his body was slowly deteriorating. At most, he had only days left.

Meditating would only alleviate the fever for a while, then he would be thrown back into the flames of pon farr. He hadn't left his room for any unnecessary reason for four whole days.

With all Spock's senses painfully heightened, he was able to hear the hushed, concerned comments of his mother and the doubtful remarks of his father. They were preparing themselves for the worst. It was only logical.

Spock says crossed legged in front of his meditation incense, naked with his hand between his legs.

His shields were steadily collapsing around him, allowing him the pleasure of briefly brushing against the emptiness in his mind. Spock still had enough remaining sense left to know not to get wrapped up in the feeling. The last thing he'd want was to prematurely trigger plak tow. It was illogical to prolong the inevitable but Spock's logic was failing, leaving behind an undeniable irrational way of thinking.

   "Is it possible for Spock to take a temporary mate? Only long enough to offset the effects." He overheard his mother asking his father. They were in the story below his room, most likely seated at the dining table.

   "It is not possible. Any participant taking part in plak tow will be bonded immediately. We do not have enough mental control to prevent it from happening. If Spock takes another, and accidentally bonds, the result would surely be deadly." Sarek explains, sounding tired and worn out. His natural sleeping pattern probably altered by his sons projecting thoughts and general anguish. 

   Spock was glad he would not be forced into a mating with just anybody. The was okay because he only longed for one, could only be satisfied by one, his T'hy'la.

He'd much rather die not having touched his own than die knowing he touched another.

**•••**

Bones sits down on the bed beside Jim, absently caressing his wrist. Jim had begun to notice that whenever McCoy was feeling agitated and at the end of his rope he'd gravitate towards Jim. Somehow it worked wonders on his hot temper. "What kind of Vulcan mumbo-jumbo is that?"

"It is a natural occurring biological event that takes place every seven years for mature Vulcans. We do not speak of it, especially with other worlders. I speak only to because he seems, for whatever reason, unaware of what is taking place."

   "I don't know how you managed to miss this but, Jim is a human." McCoy was more confused than ever. Who does this guy think he is? He may be a biologist but he's no doctor.

Turak remained emotionless but inside he was becoming impatient with the human's friend. "He is experiencing all the natural symptoms associated with pon farr. He has a high fever, irrational reactions, mood swings and is in a constant state of arousal." Jim felt no need to be embarrassed.

Bone sputters for words. "...what? How could you possibly know that?"

"Vulcans have a sense of telepathy, Jim is unknowingly projecting his emotions. Where is his bondmate? He must meet with them soon, if he doesn't he will die."

   McCoy only hear the first part, Jim only heard the last.

   Was this it? Was this how he was going to die? In a hospital bed with two bickering old men? Jim always knew he'd die young, his reckless and whim-full lifestyle was bound to catch up with him sooner or later; he'd just thought it'd be in some great escapade, or galavanting across the cosmos in search of life. Hell, face first into a puddle and drowning seemed more probable the this.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Back it up there-" Bones gets up to look at Turak face to face. "-what do you mean by _bondmate?_

"I will repeat my question using Terran terminology, so you may understand. Where is Jim's partner? The one he is married too?"

Jim almost manages a coherent word, that sounded suspiciously like an expletive.

Bones finally had enough and laughs, long, loud and genuine. "Jim? Married? When pigs fly." He says between his laughter. "You'd find more monogamy in a rock."

"I am unable to find the relevancy between Jim marital status and aerial swine."

Man, did Jim ever want to join in the conversation. Things could be going so much faster, every second wasted is a second closer to his death. One thing is for sure, though, it wouldn't be as entertaining.

Bones paces in a small circle. "You mentioned you were a telepath. Can't you just-" he gestures wildly with his hand.

Turak raises an eyebrow. "If you are referring to the melding of two minds, I cannot. There are too many unknown factors, the chances of a successful meld is almost impossible." He answers. "Yet, there is one possibility I have yet to rule out. It is very unlikely, but should be investigated otherwise. I will be gone only briefly."

**•••**

   "Turak, son of Salok, what is your reason for contact?" One of the Vulcan high commanders asks through subspace radio.

   "I am in need of information. I have come across a human that is experiencing pon farr, yet has no bondmate."

   Turak waits for a response. "There has been no such recorded occurrence. It is not possible. You have misidentified the problem."

   He'd known he'd get a cold reaction, it was only logical. No Vulcan would believe such a grander statement without the proper scientific recordings and facts. Not until they could understand it fully and completely through and through.

   But Turak knew 100% he was right in his prognosis. He'd been there, seen it, observed it, witnessed its effects. His brother had gone through his first pon farr not even a month prior, the symptoms complete matches.

   "I am confident in my conclusion ."

   "Very well. What is the information you seek?"

   "What I seek is, as humans say, a long shot. Is there any present mention of a Vulcan having a T'hy'la bond?" Turak asks. If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. This was, indeed, the impossible.

"There is."

   "May I speak to them?"

   "I will inform them of your request, expect a call soon."

   "It is of the upmost urgency."

   "Very well. Live long and prosper."

The line goes silent and Turak sits, mentally going through every possible outcome in the preparation of helping the human.

The connection picks back up again, this time a strikingly human female voice. "This is Amanda, I've heard you wished to speak with my son. I am his mother. What is the nature of your call?"

   Turak pauses. Was he taking the correct course of action? What if he was wrong? The chances of the happening were high. But he was speaking with a human, any lapse of logic would be forgiven, if not overlooked. "My name is Turak. I am about to make a very illogical and personal assumption. Please, feel free to stop me if I go too far. I believe that your son is in the currently in throes of...pon farr, unable to satiate his desires without a mate. I am quite certain I have found that mate. He is human, and in critical condition."

The relief and joy that came over Amanda was overwhelming. Not only would his son live on, he would love and be loved. She didn't ask for proof, she trusted the Vulcan stranger. Over the years living on Vulcan herself, she'd learnt to put her faith into them. Unlike humans, they rarely had ill-intent behind their actions and words. "He needs to be brought to Vulcan immediately. I fear my son would not survive the trek, his symptoms are severe. The human is most likely experiencing the fever through their initial bond, until they join, the madness will remain weak. This leaves the human better equipped to cope with any sudden changes."

For a human, her logic was surprisingly sound. "I estimate they only have four days remaining until their regulatory systems begin the cease function. I may be able to use my position in Starfleet to secure transport in time."

   "I'll also put in a good word with Starfleet, as well as the high council here. It'll take some time with them, they will first object to interfering, but eventually tradition will overrule any hesitancy. I'd be _illogical_ to ignore such a rare occurrence."

   "Then it is set."

   Amanda allows a second to relax. "It is set. Goodbye, Turak."

"Goodbye, Amanda. Live long and prosper."

   "Peace and long life."

   The call ends.


	8. An Illogical Hope (How To Tell A Vulcan Is Hitting On You)

Within the hour Starfleet confirmed the requests. Maybe it was by chance, or maybe it was a political opportunity to strengthen the bond -no pun intended- between Vulcan and Earth.

You don't just let brightest and most promising Starfleet cadet and the son of the Vulcan Earth ambassador die because of some mysterious, all mighty, otherworldly attraction that's so rare everyone believes it to be a myth.

Chance? Probably not.

**•••**

Spock was the first of the two to hear the news, right as it was happening. Unintentionally, of course, nothing he did now could he be accounted for.

His T'hy'la had been found.

He'd contemplated the thought of knowing that _somewhere,_ was his other half. With all the logical statistics and probability being thrown at him since he was eight, had eventually sunk in. Any shred of hope being buried deep under the strict Vulcan ways.

A sense of tranquillity comes over Spock, it was a welcome relief that soothed his burning blood even if only for a moment.

With the moment of clarity brought by the news, Spock decides to try and send his emotions to his T'hy'la via the bond. He'd heard it was common among mates to send and receive thoughts and feelings, though, like most things, it takes time to master. He'd also heard that visualization is a great starting tool.

Spock closes his eyes and takes a slow, aching breath as if about to enter meditation, except now he'd purposefully kept his mind aware. Spock knew he had to act fast. It wouldn't be long until he was bombarded with insanity once again. He needed this time to reassure and comfort his T'hy'la.

Spock beginnings picturing two minds, each representing one-half of the other's soul. Those two minds were connected. They were connected by the thinnest strand of golden thread. Apart, incomplete; together, whole.

Under the madness Spock had no troubles gathering all instances of love and protectiveness he'd ever felt for his love. With a loosely constructed form, Spock visualizes pushing the emotions along the connecting thread until they reached the other side.

He'd done this a few more time, till he could no longer hold back the madness, hoping that at least once he'd gotten through and eased the edge of his others fire.

   They'd be together soon. 

**•••**

   "Captain Pike here. It's a pleasure to meet you, Cadet. Unfortunately, we could not be acquainted under better circumstances."

   McCoy shakes the offered hand with a giddy grin. So what if he was a little star struck? It's not every day a lonely Georgia boy meets a starship captain. "I've heard plenty about you." 

   "All good I hope. And Turak! How could I forget a face like that?" Turak raises an eyebrow, but nods politely anyway.

Pike moves over to Jim laying on one of the beds in the sickbay. "This must be the infamous James T. Kirk. The one, and only person to have successfully completed the Kobayashi Maru. With a very unique approach, I may add, big fan of your work. I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first, not that I could've hacked such a complex program. You can hear me right?"

Everyone looks to Jim's seemingly lifeless body. Without any other movement, Jim gives a thumbs up and everyone laughs.

"Good to see. My apologies please, forgive me for heading off so soon, but I'm needed on the bridge. If you need _anything_ don't hesitate to ask. That being said, if all goes as planned we'll reach Vulcan in approximately 3.2 earth days." Pike bids farewell and exits the sickbay.

"This is going to be a long ride." McCoy flops into a chair with a heavy exhale. "What do you even do on a starship? Besides, wait for a single inevitable mistake, and then _boom!_ We're all dead, getting sucked into the cold vacuum of space for all eternity, never decomposing like some ancient mummy."

   "Logically, your worry is futile. It will not waver the probability in your favour.  I assure you, the chance of a deadly event is almost improbable. But, I for one-" Turak says. "-will spend the majority of the trip reading works that are otherwise unobtainable on Earth. They are certainly documented on the computer database. I presume you would be interested in examining the state of the art medical equipment. The training facility back at the academy does not do justice. If you wish for companionship at any time during our voyage, call me, I will gladly accompany you."

   McCoy was a little surprised by an answer. Apparently, Vulcans didn't understand rhetorical questions. He was a lot surprised by _the_ _answer._ "...umm yeah, thanks." Weren't Vulcans supposed to not have emotions?

   Jim was on the verge of passing out from exhaustion when he was yanked back into reality. He'd expected it to be like all the other times in his life, just when everything seemed fine he'd be pulled back with indescribable pain.

   Exceptthe pain never came, in fact, Jim felt no pain at all. His heart speed to an uneven flutter, while his head began to feel light with the rush of a thousand thoughts and emotions bombarded his mind.

   One emotion hit harder than all the others.

_Love._

   So much love, affection, protectiveness, tenderness, adoration, loyalty and friendship.

   _Jim was loved._

  It was an experience like no other. These feelings weren't his, yet he was experiencing them first hand as if they were. They kept flooding in, like water through a broken dam until it was overwhelming.

   Jim gasps loudly, desperately trying to get enough oxygen into his constricted chest with his rapid and shallow breaths. Then, a cool dampness crawls down his cheeks and Jim realizes he was crying tears of joy.

   "Whoa buddy, you okay?" Bones was on his feet in an instant. "What's happening?" He questions Turak.

   Turak furrows his brows, making them look even more sloped than before. "It could be his counterparts attempt to establish a telepathic communication, though I am hesitant on that answer. The timing of the occurrence is logical, though."

A doctor, which McCoy presumes is the chief medical officer, approaches Jim, equipment in hand. "Is he in any pain?"

The CMO checks his readings with a skeptical face. "Well, according to this, it's quite the opposite. He's most likely in a temporary euphoric state with dopamine and serotonin levels like this. I'd say I'm surprised he's not dead, but I've seen a lot in my days. The best thing we can do for him is waiting it out. By the way, the names Dr Boyce."


	9. An Illogical Skill (Since When Do I Understand Vulcan?)

The closer they got to the planet, the stronger the fire burned in Jim and the stronger the arousal was.

It wasn't all bad, though, after all, those years, after dozens of doctors and hundreds of medications, his headaches were finally diminishing. No longer was Jim in a constant state of pain.

Well, except for this exact situation.

"Captain Pike here. We are approximately two hours away from the planet Vulcan. Estimated arrival time, 1400 hours. All decks prepare to enter and maintain orbit. That is all, Pike out." The comm ends.

"Thank heavens. If I had to spend another day on this flimsy flying hunk of metal I'd go mad."'Ah, good ole Bones, keeping everyone's mood light. "Don't you ever miss the feel of sunlight or fresh unfiltered air?"

Dr Boyce hands McCoy a well-needed drink from who knows where and keeps one for himself. They both take slow sips, savouring the taste and relishing in the alcoholic side effects. "I'm not proud to say it, but you get used to it a couple months in."

"What happened to keeping the human in humanity?" McCoy mutters under his breath.

   The doors swoosh open and in walks Turak. He takes one notice of the drinks and raises an eyebrow. "I do believe the consumption of alcoholic beverages while on duty is against several regulations and policies."

   Dr Boyce pours another glass and offers it to Turak. "Those rules specifically specify _recreational_ drinking. _Medicinal_ drinking, however, is far game."

   "I must refuse. Fortunately, Vulcans do not obtain the pleasure you humans derive from such beverages." Turak politely pushes the glass away. Dr Boyce shrugs and throws back the contents in one gulp.

   "Everything makes so much more sense." McCoy chuckles. "No wonder you hobgoblins are so uptight, none of you can get drunk!"

   Turak turns his attention to McCoy. "I did not say that Vulcans can not get 'drunk', just that alcohol has no affect as our body metabolizes the chemicals much quicker than humans. However there are other alternatives if one wishes to get 'drunk.'"

McCoy grins mischievously. "Good to know."

**•••**

Jim beams down, standing, with Bones and Dr. Boyce on either side of him, propping him up. Turak volunteered to join the group as a guide.

   The very first thing Jim noted was the thin, hot air. To his surprise, it was much easier to breathe than on Earth. He didn't even receive a tri-ox compound.

"We have landed in the city of ShiKahr. Unfortunately, a short walk is required to reach our final destination." Turak announces, briefly checking his tricorder readings. "We will head east."

_"My love, I am waiting for thee."_

Jim's eyes open in shock. His vision was bombarded with all the light, colour and movement he'd grown unaccustomed too. The sensations left his head light.

What was that? Could that be the mystery Vulcan communicating with him like Turak said?

"Oh hey!" Bones meets Jim's eyes for the first time in a while. He'd almost forgotten how lovely his friend's eyes were; in a completely platonic way of course. "We're almost there, just hold on for a little while longer."

Jim nods in understanding, and they all begin on their small trek. He ended up half-walking, and half-being drug across the ground by McCoy and Dr Boyce, leaving a trail of red dust behind Jim's feet.

   Even though Jim was able to use his vision again, he didn't. His eyes relaxed and settled into a slightly cross-eyed, blurry gaze. While all other members of the landing party were enjoying the scenic desert of Vulcan with its unique architecture and historical landmarks, Jim could care less. Only one thing was on his mind, and not even the distractions of a foreign planet could break his focus. Nothing could stop him from reaching his goal.

_He really needed to get laid._

"We are close." Turak flips his communicator on. "Landing party to enterprise. Come in Enterprise."

"Enterprise here-" a distorted reply comes. "-go ahead"

"Please inform the ambassador and his wife that we will be arriving shortly."

   "Will do, is that all sir?"

   "Yes. That is all."

   "Very well, Enterprise out."

   Turak flips the communicator again and this time it closes.

It took only a few more minutes before they made it. Only a door stood between Jim and his mystery soulmate, determining their fate. The stakes were exceptionally high; they were life or death.

None of them even had a chance to knock before the door was urgently opened. A lady appears on the other side, poised with stature and class. Her face remained emotionless by human standards, the only sign of distress were the soft worry lines adoring her skin. "Please, come in. We must bring them together immediately, I believe _plak tow_ has already begun."

   Jim could no longer hear properly, the only words he picked up were Vulcan. The rapid, thundering of his heart pumping blood through his body and the thick haze of sexual tension was enough to drown out most noises to his naked ears.

The woman steps towards Jim, making sure to meet his eyes and smiles politely. "My name is Amanda, and I know what you're going through. I have a Vulcan of my own." The glow of affection was impossible to miss. "You need to know that Vulcans are a very possessive species, especially during pon farr. This means that during the remainder of the fever you will have no outside contact. Anything you will need should already be in the room." Amanda explains to Jim in fluent Vulcan. Somehow he understood and heard every word with crisp clarity. "I have just a few more more things you should know. You'll be constantly pushed to your physical and mental limits, and your stamina will completely deplete but remember to keep going, don't lose hope. Now, you will become bonded over to course of the fever. This means, that under Vulcan law and customs, you legally married and there is no going back. There are divorces like back on Earth; you will be joined in the heart, soul and mind for eternity. Do you understand?"

Jim grunts impatiently. He'd deal with all the technical details when he's not deteriorating by the second. This was enough for Amanda.

"Alright boys, I'll take him from here." She dismissed McCoy and Boyce. "It'd be a horrific scene if my son saw two strangers with hands on his mate."

Amanda wraps one arm around Jim's waist and slings one of his arms around her shoulder. Then they begin walking up a large staircase. Every few steps Jim would fumble with anticipation and nervousness.

Upon reaching the second floor Jim gently excuses himself from Amanda's hold and stands on his own for the first time in days. He even musters up the courage to take the few remaining steps into his lover's bedroom.

Now here he was, face to face with a Vulcan stranger, about to do unspeakable things for their life.


	10. An Illogical Feeling (Bones Is Awkward)

   Nothing in Jim's entire life ever felt as good as what he was feeling now. The pure adrenaline and hormones being released from standing only a foot away from the Vulcan were 10x better than any sex he'd ever had.

   They weren't even touching...well, not for long.

   Spock roughly grabs onto the front of Jim's shirt and using the momentum created from the sway, practically tosses him onto his bed. Jim lands on his back with an "oomph." as the air escapes his lungs.

   Spock joins soon after, climbing on top of Jim and straddling his hips. He grabs two more fistfuls of fabric and tears his shirt in two like it was easy as ripping tissue paper.

   The air seemed chilly against his chest compared to Jim's hot skin.

" _Ashaya_." Spock whispers while tracing the muscles on Jim's chest with two fingers, leaving behind a trail of sparks. His other hand was preoccupied with other things, such as haphazardly trying to strip the rest of Jim's clothes.

   One by one the articles of clothing come off till Jim was left naked. He was the only one, though, and he couldn't let that slide.

   Jim grabs Spock by the back of the neck with one hand and pulls him down into a kiss. Jim had expected it to be as fiery and passionate as the rest of the encounter but it wasn't. The Vulcan didn't recuperate the action, in fact, he seemed caught off guard and confused. Jim continued to kiss him, pulling out all the tricks he'd accumulated over time.

   Eventually, Spock catches on to the human custom, it was meant to be derived for pleasure. He'd believed that kisses were only brief closed mouthed pecks showing platonic affection and exchanged mutually between comrades. Now, Spock wasn't so sure.

   This kiss was wet, hot and very sexual in nature.

   With one hand busy, Jim's free hand goes straight for Spock's meditation robes, bunching it up in his fist and slowly hiking it up until it was time to discard the garment.

   Their contact was gone for only a few seconds but in that time the pain in his head briefly returned. Spock also felt the effects. They go back to tangling tongues so quickly that Jim didn't even notice that Spock was commando under his black robe.

   Now Jim was confused, for when Spock lifted his hand to his face and sprawled his fingers out he'd believed it to be some kinky Vulcan fetish or something until he was enveloped in a bright light of euphoria.

   All pain dissipated from his existence, and everything just fell into place. Parts of himself that he didn't even know were broken, healed. It was as if he now he could breathe air when he was previously drowning.

   Then the presence of another became eminent. Two minds, that were now one. This was a mind meld.

   Jim could see himself through Spock's eyes, only a moment before, when he'd entered the room. A wave of relief and affection following. Several more memories flooded in after, playing back to back as if on a movie reel. Jim quietly watched the prominent events unfold first hand.

   The last memory Spock showed Jim was his failed bonding to T'Pring. He carefully recalled each detail in perfect clarity, including all the agony it inflicted. Except for this time, Jim was with him through every second, unknowingly sending soothing and empathetic thoughts; he'd been through the pain.

   As the memory fades away Jim is left even more intrigued than before. The complete inner workings of the complex and intricate mind of the Vulcan were being freely offered to him.

   It was a little strange at first, exploring someone's mind. It was like an endless corridor of memories and emotions, though the further you got the more personal and private the findings.

   Then a small glimmer catches Jim's attention. It was a fine golden string, no thicker than a strand of hair. He plucks it cautiously, it was being pulled taunt, clearly anchored on either end.

   Jim gently grabs hold of the delicate string and follows it, deep into Spock's mind. It ever so slowly began to darken the longer he went. Soon, he was surrounded by utter empty and hollow darkness. It was frightening. Jim knew this was a bad place but Spock continued to encourage him to keep going, despite the subconscious resistance.

   Panic rose, and rose, and rose in Jim's chest as he pushes through until it swelled to unbearable heights. It was when he couldn't take another second that the string suddenly ended.

   Jim experimentally plucks it again. The black around him blurs into brilliant gold and silver hued swirls, effortlessly turning the cold void into a vibrant haven. The string begins growing hundreds of more hair-like strands, then quickly forming themselves into a thick, unbreakable rope.

 _"We are now bonded."_ Spock informs him mentally. Somehow Jim was completely okay with that.

•••

"This is not how I expected my week to end up." McCoy grouches into his cup of coffee generously provided by Amanda. "It was supposed to be like any other week, filled with long lectures and boring homework. Not being light years away from Earth, waiting for my best friend to finish having ravenous sex upstairs."

   Amanda chuckles in one of the armchairs across from McCoy. Turak and Surak else wear, bonding over pointy ears or something. "I must admit. The situation is quite...peculiar."

"Isn't it even a little bit awkward, knowing what your son is doing right now?" He couldn't help but ask. "I mean, it's pretty awkward for me and Jim and I have even kissed on occasion." Okay, maybe that was a little bit too much information. "...not that that lead to anythi-"

   Amanda holds up her delicate hand. She could even make cutting someone off seem like a polite gesture. "I should probably stop you right there."

"Sorry." McCoy hangs his head.

   She grins to herself. "As for your question, I don't find it awkward at all. All Vulcans experience pon farr -except for the occasional rare circumstances there is nothing to be ashamed about."

   "I'm not ashamed, I just can't get the picture of Jim being ' _intimate'_ with someone out of my head. And let me tell you, it is terrifyingly detailed. He forgets to lock the door and suddenly _I'm_ the one that gets scared for life."

   "You two sure are the pair," Amanda observes. "I assume you two stir up quite the trouble back home?"

   McCoy throws back the rest of his coffee, trying to distract himself from the seemingly innocent thumps coming from upstairs, except he knew they were anything but.

    "He's the trouble maker, not me. I'm just the one that gets tricked into participating in his elaborate schemes and then continuously nagging 'I told you so' after it blows up in his face."

    "Well, Jim sounds great. Spock could use someone like that in his life. He's always been such a stickler for the rules."

   McCoy laughs off the potentially sharp opinion he held on Vulcan culture. He was outspoken, not an inconsiderate jerk.


	11. An Illogical Scenario (It's A Bond, Not A Sex Line)

Gradually, over the course of time the harsher of the pon farr effects had subdued. The overall drive and lust that'd they'd been experiencing had began to lose its initial edge.

   Pon farr though, as a whole, was a deeply taxing event, especially on Jim who had nodded off several times in utter exhaustion. He simply didn't have the advanced stamina that Vulcans naturally possessed. He was a human and that came with flaws and all.

  Jim had also found out, first hand, the true strength of the Vulcan species. The slender frames were merely an illusion to the muscle, agility and power that was coiled under their pale skin.

   While Spock treated Jim with gentle kindness and delicate touches, he wasn't afraid the exert his power over Jim every once and awhile in a controlled dosages. His strength mostly manifested in asserting male dominance over Jim.

   It was now, in the rare occurrence of both parties being temporarily sated that Jim used this time to take a moment for himself. He ate, drank, and even managed to clean himself up a bit as long as they stayed in direct sight of each other.

   Of course by the time Jim was recharged and replenished Spock was wide awake and eager to get his hands back on Jim.

He crawls back into bed, ready for another round but was surprised when all Spock does is trail his two fingers along the exposed skin of his chest.

  ' _Why do you keep doing that?'_ Jim thinks to himself, or as he originally thought.

Spock grabs Jim's hand and presses it into a fist. After he carefully lifts up the first two fingers of his left land, perfectly mirroring Spock's own position. He then touches the tips of his fingers to Jim's with a small jolt and then a goosebumps sensation climbing up his arm. ' _This is how we kiss.'_ He replies thoughtfully.

Jim lowers his head down bashfully. All this time Spock been kissing him, and he didn't even know it. He never even got a chance to properly return the sentimental gesture.

   Spock's hand moves again, diligently caressing over the fine hairs of Jim's knuckles. Jim could feel a similar reaction stir underneath his skin just as if he was experiencing a human kiss.

   Jim adjusts his position on the bed, accidentally stroking and pulling on Spock's fingers that were around his. Spock hums deep in his throat. Jim notes the intense, pleasured reaction he got in return.

  So this is what gets a Vulcan going Jim thinks - luckily, to himself this time - as he plunges Spock's fingers into his mouth.

 

**•••**

 

   McCoy wakes up hot and sweaty in an unfamiliar place. It was only when he started having troubles inhaling enough oxygen when it all came back to him. The first thing he does is grab a hypo and uses it on himself. It takes a few seconds before he could take a deep breath.

   He sits up on the couch he crashed on and looks around to see if anyone else was awake. He wasn't sure what the exact time was - hobgoblins much rather preferred to stare at the sun all day instead of at a clock - but it had to be around early morning.

   Amanda, Sarek and Turak were all quietly sitting around the dining room table, chatting.

"Good Morning." Turak greets McCoy as he joins the group. "I assume you slept adequately?"

   "Uh, yeah. Slept great." McCoy pulls out a chair beside Amanda. He felt more at ease around her on this strange, foreign planet, like a little piece of home. "Any news on the lovebirds?"

"Not yet."

 

**•••**

 

Spock stares, mesmerized by Jim's goofy grin. He was particularly and inexplicably drawn to his sweet pink lips and between laughs, Spock would sneak in a quick kiss overtop his smile.

"I feel a lot better now." Jim whispers hoarsely, partly startled by the sound of his own rough voice. I'd been so long since he'd spoken proper words.

   But to Spock, it was the most dazzling sound in the universe. "I am also well." He cautiously testing his vocal capabilities.

   Jim licks his lips then smacks them together in a very pleasing way. Spock couldn't help himself but repeat the action on himself. His results were oddly interesting; it seemed that Jim's attention would automatically drop to his mouth after doing so.

   "Is it over? Or do we still need to--" Jim trails off with a crude hand gesture.

   Spock swiftly asses his own current mental and physical status. "I believe it is. As for your other question-" Spock intertwined their fingers into a handhold. "-it is no longer necessary, but I would not be...adverse to the situation."

"Slow down, Romeo." Jim chuckles. "At least give me a few minutes to cool down before we go for another round? How about we just talk for a little bit?"

Spock sits up, leaning against the headboard. "What would you like to discuss?"

Jim lets out a heavy breath. "I don't know where to start. I've got so many questions. Like what exactly does it entail, being bonded?"

"Simply put, we are married. Recognized under both Vulcan and Terran laws."

"Just like that? No official paper work? Or proof of any kind?" He rests his head on Spock's shoulder but the weirdest part was he could feel Spock's confusion first hand.

"Vulcans do not lie, _ashaya_." Even in the dark room, Jim could see the quaint shadows of a smile plastered on his face. He'd have to put that statement to the test one day.

"What about these strange feelings I keep getting? I can sense them, but I know they're not mine."

 _"We are parted, but never apart. Our minds have become one."_ Spock's soothing tone washes over Jim's hectic mind. _"Thus granting us limited telepathic capabilities. It is a relatively simple skill to wield, but as you are a psi-null being I will guide you through the initial learning process. First you must concentrate on finding and recognizing your targets mind -but for you, there will only be one compatible prospect, myself. My mind will be calling, luring you in; focus your attention on this."_

The human closes his eyes in concentration and nods his head. "Okay. I think I've got it...just a moment...yes!" It was just a stunningly bright and as welcoming as he remembered. Though that was something Jim could never forget.

_"You are now in a general surface meld. This will allow you to read all my current thoughts and...emotions. I pressure you have already observed these effects first hand."_

Jim couldn't find his own careless words, as they mingled helplessly among Spock's brilliant and cunning ones. Though he did not panic, he was safe with Spock.

_"You need not worry, ashaya. With practice you will able to discern your thoughts from mine. If at any time you begin to feel overwhelmed or frantic, please inform me immediately. This is your first telepathic experience not under the effects of Pon Farr, I will not hold you responsible for such circumstances."_

Jim, unable to respond any other way, mentally scrounges together his feelings of contentment and assurance then visualizes hard about those emotions reaching Spock along the golden rope he'd remembered from before.

Spock returns with an emotion of fondness. " _Fascinating, I have seemed to vastly underestimated your intelligence and resourceful ingenuity. For this, I must apologize."_

Both men retreat from the surface meld thinking two opposite things. Spock expected some kind of human emotional outbreak from the irrational judgement he'd made about his intelligence. From what information he'd gathered on the subject, commenting on someone's mental status was a touchy subject for humans. Jim however, could not stop thinking about all the new possibilities that having a telepathic partner created.

With a smug look, Jim sandwiches Spock's hand between his, slowly rubbing them together. Jim sees the jump in Spock's Adam's apple. "So this bond we have, would we be able to communicate across distances?"

"Y-Yes." He stumbles momentarily, eyes glued to Jim's hands on his.

"How about a draw out a senecio. Let's say that I'm in a building - taking a class or whatever-" Jim brings his hands close to his mouth and blows hot air over them as if warming them after a long stroll in the snow. Watching Spock's Vulcan shields literally crumble under his hands was immensely satisfying. "-and you're in the building adjacent doing some sort of Vulcan activity, with tons of people around, If I wanted to send some particular...raunchy thoughts or images, that'd work?"

   "Yes, though I would advise against such actions. They would certainly prove to be irrelevant and distracting in most scenarios, never less highly illogical."

   "That's the point." Jim smiles.

 

**•••**

 

   "Jim!" Bones jumps up from his chair and pulls him into a tight hug. "Thank God, I've been dying of boredom here." He whispers in Jim's ear.

   Jim laughs but gladly accepts the hug. "They can hear you, you know."

  Bones, in all seriousness, replies with a flat "I know."

   "Spock." Jim suddenly states firmly, turning around to see his partner staring daggers into Bones. His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were white. You didn't need telepathy to sense the anger radiating from Spock. Jim places a reassuring hand on his chest. "It's alright." Spock's eyes gradually sift from Bones to Jim.

   Bones backs off cautiously.

   "Son-" Sarek stands behind Jim. "-humans are a very tactile species. The doctor meant no harm in the friendly gesture and in no way wishes to claim him as own." 

   Jim drags his hand down from his chest to Spock's clenched hands and slowly begins to pry them loose, eventually curling his fingers around Spock's. "That's just Bones, my _friend._ "

   Spock nods at Bones and takes a second to organize his thoughts. "I apologize for my actions. I must still be experiencing a slight fever."

   Bones still remained skeptical but puts up a polite smile for Jim's new...husband. Everything seemed to going a little too fast for his liking, but Jim was a grown man and he could make his own decisions. Bones was just the overprotective friend that held impossible standards. "That's _best friend_ to you."


	12. An Illogical Outburst (Jim Has Friends, Spock Does Not)

   "Hey, Hikaru! I think this is the longest I've been without seeing you." Jim greets his friend, lying on his back in Spock's bed with a PADD held high above his head. "I think I'm beginning to miss you."

"I feel you, the academy seems like a prison without you here. But what's it been? Like a week? We're pathetic." Sulu laughs.

   On screen, Chekov walks into frame in only a towel and wet hair and stops immediately, turning to Sulu. "Is that Jim?" His apparent lack of clothes didn't even faze him.

   "Yeah, do you want to say something?" Sulu picks up his own PADD and starts walking. All Jim could make out from the movement was a blurry bedroom. A few seconds later the camera focus back into a clear shot of both Sulu and Chekov smiling happily after a quick peck on the lips.

   "I heard the big news, congratulations, welcome to the club!" Chekov throws up his hands in celebration, almost knocking the PADD out of Sulu's hand. "Sorry, love." He quietly apologizes.

   Sulu shakes his head with a long sigh and exasperated look. "Hurry up and get dressed, before you break anything else." Apparently, situations like that were common.

   With one last apologetic kiss Chekov then walks back out the way he came in.

   "Isn't he adorable?" Sulu leans in, whispering. "It's impossible to stay mad at him with a face like that."

   The door opens and Spock steps casually into the room and closes the door behind him. When he looks up he was surprised to see Jim on a comm link. "I apologize, I did not mean to intrude. I will be on my way and you may resume your previous discussion."

   "Spock, stay." Jim commands. "I want you to meet someone."

   He seemed torn as to whether or not to leave the situation. Spock was severally inexperienced when it came to making 'small talk' with humans that were not his mother. There was so much deception, double meanings, idioms and lies in the day to day human speech that made it almost impossible to understand. English was certainly the hardest language in the galaxy.

   Jim felt his growing hesitance though the bond. "It's alright, you don't need to say anything. Just come lay with me." He balances the PADD on his knees to pat the bed space beside him.

   "If you wish." Spock says truthfully. In only a few strides he reaches his familiar bed and crawls on top of the sheets with Jim. For the both of them to fit in frame Spock had to get incredibly close to Jim and he definitely couldn't complain about the arrangement. All the skin contact was filled with a spark or a jolt of some sort and for a brief moment, their hands brushed.

   "Spock, this is Hikaru Sulu, Hikaru Sulu, this is Spock, my _husband_." It still felt like a foreign word to Jim but it was growing on him little by little, day by day.

"Greetings."

"Nice to meet you." Sulu smiles warmly before turning his attention back to Jim. Interacting with Vulcans was never really his strong suit. "Anyways Jim, how have you been feeling? The last time I saw you, you were unconscious and being escorted out on a stretcher."

   Spock's curiosity spikes, and begins to pay closer attention to the conversation, examining the physical and auditory clues of both the men for more information. Had Jim been sick? What had happened to him?

   "I'm feeling great, the best I've ever been in my entire life." Jim was no longer being crippled with agonizing headaches since the formation of the bond. Occasionally, on habit, he'd find himself reaching into his back pocket for his pills, but instead would find it empty.

   There was a muffled yell on Sulu's end, then a pause, then a frown. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. Housewife duty calls."

   "I understand, I'll talk to you later."

  Sulu nods once and the screen goes black except for a small window notifying that the connection was lost. Jim turns off the PADD and puts it back on the bedside table.

  The room quickly became very silent, both Jim and Spock were lying side by side on their backs staring up at the ceiling, motionless.

   Spock didn't need to focus hard to pick up the sound of Jim's thrumming heart. The sound doubles in volume when Spock concentrates on his own. " _Our hearts beat as one._ "

   Jim rolls over to face Spock with a lost face. "What?"

   Spock considered explaining but determined instead just to show him, let him experience it on his own accord. He takes hold of Jim's hands -careful to avoid any particularly sensitive areas- and places one on Jim's chest and the other on Spock's side.

   Jim closes his eyes. "That's pretty cool."

   "I apologize, _ashaya,_ is my body temperature unpleasant to your touch?" Spock looks down at Jim's hand still on his chest, why would he continue making contact if it was uncomfortable.

   He laughs contently to himself before changing the subject altogether. "Would you mind showing me around Vulcan?" Jim couldn't help himself. "It seems... _cool._ "

 

**•••**

 

   Bones wasn't particularly happy when Jim announced he'd be gone all day with Spock exploring the sights of Vulcan. He tried to worm his way into the newlyweds outing but was quickly shut down by Spock. Even if he could convince Jim to let him tag along, Spock wouldn't be as easy to persuade; if it was even possible.

   There were many reasons why he willingly lent himself out as a third wheel. The first and the biggest reason was to keep a sharp eye on the both of them. Spock was sketchy, to say the least, and Jim was still highly susceptible to one of his _many_ medical conditions, especially being on a foreign planet. Another reason was that he was steadily driving himself mad, cooped up in a house with those hobgoblins (Amanda was great, over the course of his stay he actually grew to like her).

   "I'm sorry Bones-" Jim apologizes for the millionth time. "-but it's just me and Spock going. If you really need to get out just ask Turak. I'm sure he'd be able to help you-"

   Now that he thought about it, he'd much rather stay in the prison-esque house then be all alone with Turak on a new planet, he'd been acting strange around Bones lately.

   "I apologize, we must be off now." Spock interrupts the conversation. Bones wonders if the apology was genuinely sincere or not.

   Bones and Jim exchange quick goodbyes.

   "Your _friend_ doesn't trust me." Spock observes as soon as they leave the house and was sure they were out of hearing range.

   Jim follows Spock's long, graceful strides down the sandy pathway Spock had walked since he was a child. "And you don't trust him."

   Spock rubs his lips together in thought. "He is impulsive and regularly rude."

"But he's also thoughtful and generous. You just need to get to know him, Bones isn't a bad guy." Jim pulls for his friend. If Spock was going to be a part of his life now, those two needed to be friends, or at least be able to put up with each other for extended periods of time.

  Jim sighs and looks up at the bright sandy sky. The early afternoon sun was beating down hard on all those who wandered into its path. Surprisingly, the hot sun on Jim's skin was not an unpleasant sensation. It was truly unlike anything you'd experience on Earth. "Have you ever been to Earth?"

   The path they were following quickly becomes engulfed by fresh, loose sand. This doesn't deter Spock one bit. He still continued trudging forward, confidently as if the path was illuminated brightly. "When I was very young, I would visit my mothers, parents, regularly. They have since passed and I have not returned."

"I'm sorry to hear that. My father died the day I was born. He saved a lot of people, but just couldn't save himself." Jim confides. It wasn't easy for him to talk about the mighty George Kirk, because whenever he did find the courage to spill his festering feelings to someone they were, just, too _emotional_ , Jim had enough emotions to deal with himself.

"Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Spock replied. His tone wasn't a cold tone, but it wasn't necessarily a warm one either. It was just what Jim needed to hear.

"I just-" Jim's voice cracks, but he pulls himself together. He promised himself long ago that he wouldn't cry over the stranger. "It's not fair. Why don't my needs matter? I'm sick of not knowing anything about him, I'm sick of being constantly compared to someone else. I just want a father, _my_ father."

Spock slows to a stop, turning around to look at Jim. "You are crying." He observes with a furrowed brow. "Has this conversation upset you in some way? Trust me, It was not my intention to make you sad."

And there it was, the pristine and utterly preposterous logic. It was the sturdy rock in Jim's sea of crashing waves. Without even trying, Spock had accidentally managed to worm a small smile out of the human - though the tears still stubbornly continued - but Jim couldn't tell if they were still sad tears about his father or happy tears about his lovely Spock.

" _T'hy'la_ , please, do not cry." Spock reaches out and softly wipes the tears from Jim's cheeks with his fingers. Briefly, those fingers brushed over one of Jim's meld points. In a flash, he felt compassion, but most importantly, understanding. All in all, there was no underlying selfish motivation. _"I grieve with thee."_

Jim wipes his nose on the inside fabric of his tank top. "Thanks." He must have looked like a blubbering mess, even by human standards. "I know it must be hard, putting up with all my illogical emotions."

   Spock removes his hands from Jim's face and takes a stoic step back. "It is not as unpleasant as expected."

   Jim wipes away the last remaining tears with a laugh. "That's good to know because from what I'm gathering, we're going to be stuck with each other for a very long time."

   Spock hums in agreement before diving into the promised tour. "This is the city of ShiKahr, one of the larger cities of Vulcan. It was founded in..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments! I do read every single one of them, and if I don't respond i'm really sorry, I just don't do communication that well. 
> 
> Also my main writing platform is Wattpad, so my updates are originally posted on there (Usually a few days earlier than AO3). So if you're impatient for a new chapter -like me- you can check it out. (My username is the same: @PeaceAndLongLife)


	13. An Illogical Hesitance (Just Eat The Ominous Food, Jim)

   For lunch, Spock had decided to take a break from his incredibly in-depth historical lecture and treat Jim to a traditional Vulcan restaurant near the heart of ShiKahr.

   With the afternoon sun beating down, Jim was more than a little disappointed to realize that this establishment didn't have air conditioning. Apparently, it was very uncommon for buildings to have air conditioning on Vulcan. (They must have made an exception for Amanda) At least they were out of direct rays of torture.

   Right know Jim wanted nothing to do but peel off his sweat-drenched tank top, but you know how Vulcans get. Besides, he had a gut feeling Spock would be very opposed to him stripping in public.

   So they take a seat at the coolest and darkest table and flip through the menus that were already laid out as they wait for a server. There was also a large container of water which Jim was incredibly thankful for.

   "How are you not hot?" Jim fans himself with his hands. His face was probably looked like a wet tomato. "Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer."

   Spock quirks a brow before returning his gaze to his menu.

   Jim looks down at his own. Immediately he noticed that it was written in both federation standard English and Vulcan. The weird thing was that he kept accidentally slipping between the two languages like it was nothing. He could vaguely remember this happening once previous, during his first day on Vulcan. "How the heck am I fluent in Vulcan?" Was this another one of the 'advantages'?

   Spock doesn't seem fazed by the question. "I can only assume that my mind is subconsciously translating what you are seeing."

   Okay, that's actually pretty cool. He'd enjoy all the benefits of knowing a second language while cutting out all the gruelling work. "Where were you during my linguistics exam?"

   "I'm sure you know. I was here, on Vulcan."

   "It was a rhetorical question, Spock."

   Spock hums in acknowledgement and returns his focus back to his menu. 

   "So, what are you ordering?" Jim strikes up another small talk. "I may be able to read Vulcan but that doesn't mean I know what all this means. I think I'll just get whatever you're having. I trust that you don't have bad taste." The server reached our table at exactly as Jim finished his sentence. _Vulcans._

"Two servings of _Pok tar_."

   "As you wish."

 

**•••**

 

   The food arrives promptly, which was a delightful surprise to Jim. Earth really should take notes from Vulcan, service wise that is. The whole 'purging oneself of emotion' probably wouldn't sit well with that particular crowd.

   "Well. This looks...edible." Jim observes, tentatively poking the mass with his fork. "It _is_ edible, right?"

   Spock's mind bubbles with amusement. He'd already taken a bite of his own _Pok tar._ "It would be illogical for an establishment dedicated to providing nourishments to serve non-edible substances." 

    "Alright. Alright. I get it." Jim looks back down at his plate. He's never been a picky eater, but the ominous shape and muted colours just didn't seem appetizing to his human palate.

"I was under the assumption you were hungry, Jim."

Jim sucks it up his irrationality and takes a generous bite. There were many things he was expecting, but actually _liking_ it wasn't one of them. Despite its unfortunate outward appearance, underneath it proved to have a hidden allure. The same could also be said about Vulcans, about Spock.

   Spock's face becomes a little more emotionless. "I would appreciate it if you did not compare me to a dish."

   "You caught that?" Jim looks away sheepishly, suddenly embarrassed. "Can you read all my thoughts?"

"If you allow it and I focus, then yes, I can." Jim waits for Spock to continue on as he usually does, but he realizes the embarrassment he was feeling wasn't his. ' _This isn't the place to talk_ '

Jim backs off the subject even though he was itching with questions. Everything was so new, and he needed to know _everything._ It was in his nature, at least that's what his mother used to say.

So what was a nice, safe, public, Vulcan friendly conversation topic? "So, are you going to school or anything?" Education seemed like the logical choice. All Vulcans enjoy learning, right?

Spock looked relieved -or as close as an emotionally constipated species could- at the swift topic change. "The Vulcan Science Academy."

"Oh really? I considered enrolling a while back just because I could. I would've killed to see the look on all the Vulcans faces when they learn that I perfected the entrance exam. Just thinking about it is priceless. In the end, I couldn't resist the promise of adventure and decided on Starfleet."

Up until this point in time, Spock had absolutely nothing in common with Jim but now, they do. Although Spock would never admit it, he too had a longing for adventure, a thirst to explore. Perhaps that's where he had developed the illogical passion.

"What track?"

"Command. I'm going to become the youngest captain in history to have my own ship." The way Jim's whole presence brightened at the subject was beautiful. His pearly teeth were beaming and his eyes crinkled in joy

This man has a passion, and the infuriating stubbornness to achieve it.

"You miss The Academy." It was a statement, not a question.

"...yeah." Jim reluctantly admits. "-though I'd much rather be with you." He throws on after in a panic, like he believed Spock had human emotions and that they were 'hurt'.

   "You will need to return to Earth eventually." Spock states. "Although you currently seem unaffected by our atmosphere, I fear it will cause damage in the long term."

"I've been trying not to think about that."

   "We will come to an agreeable conclusion in time."

    Jim felt a small wave of relief. Good, now he could put off the decision without feeling guilty.

 

**•••**

 

  "If Vulcans don't wear wedding rings how do you tell if someone is married? Dating must be a nightmare." It was a sudden question, seemingly pulled out of thin air. It even surprised Jim, who was the one asking it.

They'd stayed out longer than anticipated. Jim hadn't expected to be as entranced as he was by the rich history and unique architecture. Spock didn't hurt his interest either; he had a fascinating tendency to lose himself in whatever monologue he was presenting. During those times his hard Vulcan exterior would slip, and his human side would peek through in his animated gestures and a very small upturn of his lips.

   The sun was beginning to set now. It was the most beautiful sunset that Jim had ever seen, it was unlike anything on Earth. The warm red-orange hues illuminated the pathway as they strolled back to Spock's house.

"We just _know."_

"Is that why nobody hit on me today? Or was it the fact you growled and glared every time someone got even remotely to close to me?" Now that they were out of public view, Spock allowed Jim to hold his hand.

   "Possessiveness is very common among Vulcans, especially newly bonded couples." Spock explains. Whether or not he was aware of the extra emphasis he adds "You are mine. Do not forget that."

   "Even if I did, you'd gladly remind me."


	14. An Illogical Idea (Jim Invents A New Way To Sext)

   Just when Bones thought the day couldn't get any worse, it _did._ He could handle Jim and Spock leaving, it wasn't as if they had been the most attentive anyway.

   Sarek had left early for work, which Bones was secretly thankful for. Then Amanda decided she needed to run errands, so now he was put in the exact situation he was trying so desperately to avoid this morning, being left alone with Turak.

   Something about Vulcans has always rubbed Bones the wrong way, they were too arrogant for him to handle, but with Turak he rubbed Bones _all_ the wrong ways like he knew exactly what to say just to send him into a fury. Now that he thinks of it, Vulcans have a lot in common with Jim.

   Thank heavens Turak was hired as a professor _after_ he completed his xenobiology classes.

   "You appear to be agitated," Turak observes in a perfect monotone voice, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Bones jumps and almost doubles over with surprise, and lack of oxygen. He _was_ in the middle of prepping his hypospray, but he threw it across the room when he jumped. "I am sorry. It was not my intention to startle you."

   Bones ignores him, putting his head between his knees to focus on lowering his heart rate and taking deep breaths. It felt as if he was suffocating on nothing. Even with his head stabilized he could already feel the lightheaded.

   The familiar hiss of a hypospray brought Bones back to his normal, grouchy self...well maybe with a little more grouch.

   He rubs his neck repeatedly where the hypo was used. "Thanks." Bones didn't want to say it, but it was the least he could do, really, it _was literally the least._

"You should not wait so long between dosages." That was all he had to say. He didn't even acknowledge the thanks, this is why Bones doesn't waste his gratitude on Vulcans.

If he knew any better he would have been able to note the clipped tone and an overcompensation of emotionlessness, if that was possible.

 

**•••**

 

   Jim hopped into the shower the minute they got back in the house. He felt sticky and gross with sand in places he didn't want to think about and a slick sheen of sweat covering every inch of his body. How Amanda managed to survive this long, was a true mystery to humankind.

Stripping out of his clothes felt way better than it should have, but stepping under the water droplets was even better. It was a borderline sexual experience. That gives Jim a brilliant idea, but he needed to focus, to concentrate.

 

**•••**

 

   " _Spock_." Jim's voice startles him from his conversation with Turak. Wasn't he in the shower? " _Spoooooock_." He repeats but drawls it out impatiently. Oh, he was speaking through the bond. That shouldn't have surprised Spock, Jim was always teaching himself new things.

   "-the earliest available shuttle is in two days-" Turak continues talking, Spock nods as if he were listening.

   " _You are a fast learner."_

Jim sends the equivalent of a laugh and Spock can feel the warmth of it spread through his bones. It wasn't scientifically accurate, but neither was courting a stranger from across the galaxy.

   Turak pauses for Spock to respond and the small part of him that was paying attention answers.

   " _I'm in the shower."_

 _"I am aware, you had informed me prior."_ Why was Jim stating something he knew they both knew.

   " _I'm naked_."

   " _That is typically the recommended attire._ " He was thankful for the telepathic communication, it allowed his voice to remain strong and confident when in reality it would have been a horrid mess of emotions.

   " _Oh, shut up._ " Jim was amused. " _I'm trying something new._ "

   " _Hmm? And what would that be?"_

Turak was still talking but he was now looking at Spock quizzically, trying to determine whether or not he was actually listening. Spock puts a little more effort into looking engaged.

   " _Nothing important, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here...alone...in the shower...naked...with warm water, gently caressing skin._ " For added measures, Jim sends a very scandalous mental picture and just a fragment of his current emotions. Wouldn't want to overwhelm the poor robot him with all those ~ _feelings~._ It may have been lewd, but it would work.

Spock almost jumped out of his seat. Turak quirked an eyebrow. "Is everything all right?"

   "Yes."

   " _You should join me. I could wash the dirt from under your fingernails."_ Jim never thought those words would ever be sexy. Spock seemed to disagree, through their bond his emotions changed. Spock was no longer befuddled, but now thoroughly flustered.

   " _You are illogical._ "

   " _I know. I forgot to bring clean clothes in with me. Can you get me some?_ "

   "I'm sorry, there is something I must attend to." Spock stands up a bit too abruptly. Turak doesn't seem surprised, he just nods understandingly.

   Spock strides to his room, searching through his small bag of belongings that McCoy had packed for Jim. There were no fresh clothes left, they were all folded neatly by the door waiting to be washed. (Jim had original strewn them across the room - he had a bad habit of making a mess - but Spock couldn't stand it, and had cleaned up for him.)

   Spock didn't think twice as he reaches into his own closet and picks out an outfit for Jim.

   " _I will place the clothing just outside the door._ "

   " _Don't be a prude, come in and give them to me yourself. It's nothing you haven't seen before._ "

   Jim was correct, Spock had seen him nude but that was out of necessity during Pon Farr. Jim didn't have a problem stripping in front of him, but Spock would always politely avert his eyes.

  Spock stands there, staring at the bathroom door. On the other side was his husband, why was this so hard?

   " _I know you're out there. I can feel you panicking. Come on in, if it makes you more comfortable I can cover up._ "

   " _There is no need._ " Spock was just doing just that, _panicking_ , why was he panicking? Perhaps he didn't want to blemish his perfectly innocent perception of Jim, or he just didn't want to disrespect him in any way. But Jim was giving him permission, he _wanted_ to be seen.

   He reaches out tentatively for the doorknob and pushes the door open.

   "Hey." There was Jim, grinning from ear to ear. The shower was off, but he still dripped water. A towel was wrapped loosely around his waist.

   "I told you there is no need to cover up."

   He shrugs. "I know, but you seemed pretty spooked. I wouldn't want to give you a heart attack."

   Spock holds out the clothes. "I brought you these."

  "Just set them down anywhere." He does as Jim asks then returns to standing idly before him, three feet apart. "If you really want to see me you could always-" he stops verbally then picks right back up telepathically. Spock was impressed. "- _undress me yourself._ "

   Neither Jim nor Spock himself expected him to swiftly grasp a tucked corner of the towel and pull it free. The towel falls off Jim's frame, leaving both men stunned. Spock didn't know how it happened, one second Jim was covered and the next he was holding a towel.

   Now that Jim was exposed, Spock's eyes grazed over him. What had he been freaking out about? He looked human.

   "No bad, huh?"

   "Not bad." He was a little confused on the exact meaning of the saying, but the laugh from Jim was a good sign.

   Note to self: familiarize oneself with informal Terran sayings and slang.  
He didn't want to accidentally insult anyone, not again.

   Jim gestures towards the pile of clothing. "I should get dressed."

   "I will leave then." Spock turns his back to Jim but was stopped by him grasping desperately to his shoulder. He sensed that Jim was hurt, but what was he hurt about?

   "What do I have to do to get my husband to look at me?" His voices cracks with sadness. "Why won't you look at me?"

   Spock hadn't meant to hurt Jim's feelings, he hadn't considered that maybe a human partner would need visual affirmation. "I am sorry, _ashaya._ I did not wish to intrude on your privacy."

   "I don't mind, _really._ It's just nice to be reminded every once in a while that you're physically appealing. I want to please you." Jim pulls the towel from my hand and begins to dry himself off.

   "You appeal to me physically."

    Jim flexes his arms. "Damn right I do!"


	15. An Illogical Decision (Changes)

   "I have decided to accompany Jim to Earth and enroll in Starfleet." Spock drops the bomb the moment he was left alone with his parents.

   "Are you sure, my son? Have you fully explored the repercussions? You are enrolled at the Vulcan Science Academy. You cannot simply abandon your progress, you were about to graduate." Spock knew Sarek would not approve of his decision. Leaving the VSA was the equivalent of rejecting the Vulcan culture in his eyes.

   "I have, father. Jim does not belong here." _And neither do I._

"When do you plan on leaving?" Amanda asks, side glaring her husband.

   "Tomorrow."

   "Okay." That was all she could say. She knew the day would come eventually when her baby Spock moved out, and on with his own life. She trusted him and his decisions.

 

**•••**

 

   "This is it. This is Earth." Jim leads Spock out of the shuttle by his arm. "It's not much, but it's my home and I'm happy to share it with you."

   His first, immediate thought was how _cold_ it was. If this was a regular Terran summer, Spock did not want to imagine the winter.  Against all his control, his body stubbornly shivers.

"Are you cold?"

" _I believe so._ " There was no way he would admit his lapse of control out loud. Spock trusted Jim to not ridicule his lack of control.

   Jim finally stops walking after they are safely off the loading dock. Bones and Turak were several meters ahead with the mob of tourists. Jim sets one of his bags down and scavenges around for a minute. "Take this." He hands Spock a lightweight jacket. "It's not much, but it'll help till we make it back to my dorm. I can't wait to show you around Starfleet."

"Thank you." Spock slips it on over his black long sleeve.  It did help.

   They start up walking again. Jim would frequently brush their shoulders together when Spock didn't comment on the erratic behaviour, he continues, growing more and more bold with each touch till they're holding hands.

S   pock stumbles over nothing. "I do not understand your compulsion to 'hold hands'"

   "I can't help it that I enjoy showing affection. Besides, holding hands is a very common and innocent thing here." Jim notes.

   Spock stares up towards the cloudless sky. It was uncommon to find such an abundance of naturally occurring blue on Vulcan, but here he was here, on Earth, looking at an entire skyline of blending cool tones. "I am finding it very difficult to refuse you."

   Jim lifts their hands to his lips then kisses the back of Spock's hand. He didn't have to wait long to see the green hue spread along his cheeks and down his neck. "It's a scientific fact that I'm irresistible to every known species in the galaxy."

   Honestly, Spock had a hard time trying to disprove that theory. Perhaps Jim could introduce him to the scientists that had conducted the study.

 

**•••**

 

   If Spock though the shuttle bay was busy he hadn't seen the madness of countless cadets rushing between classes.

   Jim grins. To him it was all too familiar, although didn't realize how much he actually missed the chaos until he was on the other end of it. "Welcome to Starfleet."

   Bones turns back only long enough to grumble "You kids have fun or whatever, I'm going to go take a nice, quick 48 hour nap." Jim should've expected to be ditched, he'd been progressively getting crankier over the course of the day.

   Turak stops in his tracks. Spock pulls Jim back before he walks straight into him. "I'll come with you."

   Bones looks pointedly at Jim as if he could magically make Turak disappear. What Jim could do, was shrug and mouth an innocent "What?"

   Like a small child, Bones huffs and stamps his foot. "Fine. But you better be quiet. I swear if I even hear you _breath_ , I am locking your alien ass out, got it?"

   "I believe so." Turak nods once, and then has to take several extra long strides to catch up to Bones who had already started off without him. Jim could only guess that was Bones's one last pathetic attempt to escape from the horror of socialization.

   Jim and Spock watch them until they turn out of view. "I have still yet to witness McCoy in a pleasant mood. I am currently inclined to believe he is incapable of positive emotions."

  "Give it time, get to know him. He'll come around eventually. Bones is just being cautious, making sure you're not going to end up hurting me or whatnot." By now the majority of the cadets had dispersed to their classes causing Spock to loosen up slightly. "I am a little surprised he actually let Turak join him without a fight."

   Spock nods. "I too, found the interaction perplexing."

   Jim ponders the possibilities for a few moment before moving on. He was probably just blowing things out of proportion, maybe he really was just jet-legged. "How about a tour? I think I know where Turak's office is, we could ditch our luggage there. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

   "A tour would be acceptable." Spock agrees.

 

**•••**

 

   "-and here is the mess hall-" Jim gestures with his arms as they enter. A few students were dotted around the tables. "-if you look directly beside the replicator you can see the crack I made when I punched it."

   "Certainly the wall had no ill intent towards you." Spock steps towards the wall. When he was close enough to, he cautiously ran his fingers tips over the split brick. " _Impressive_."

   Jim looked down bashfully. Of _all_ the things he could be bashful about, it was from someone complimenting the way you punched a wall. "Thanks. You made me do it"

   Spock raises a quizzical eyebrow. "Wh-"

   "Before I got to Vulcan, you were suffering from the fever which in turn _I_ suffered from. I was horribly moody and that usually didn't turn out good for anyone...or thing."

   The conversation naturally died out.

    A few minutes go by as they lean quietly against the wall and observe the students. Well, Spock was observing, Jim was busy wondering if Vulcans got hungry.

   If they were as in tune with their bodies as they say they are, wouldn't it be the logical thing to eat _before_ you got hungry? Like a staying-one-step-ahead sorta situation?

   "If you are so curious on the subject,  
I would not be offended if you inquired."

   Jim chuckles and taps the side of his head with two fingers. "Snooping around?"

   Spock gets momentarily sidetracked by Jim's causal smile and relaxed attitude. He was beautifully warm and inviting, like his home planet. "You were muttering out loud. As for your prior question, yes, Vulcans do experience famish."

"Great, let's eat then!"

   Soon they both had a tray of food and were looking for a table to sit at.

   It suddenly became very clear to determine who in the hall had interacted with a Vulcan before, as they were openly staring with a mix of shock and curiosity. They probably hadn't intended it to be insulating but Jim could feel Spock's growing uneasiness. He could vaguely remember a few hazy memories of Spock being bullied as a child and throughout adulthood that were revealed through their initial mind meld. He was from two different worlds but belonged in neither.

   "Don't mind them, they're just curious." Jim reaches out to clap a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he slyly dodges it. "What's wrong?"

   Spock slips into the nearest chair. Jim decides to give him some space and takes one across from him. "As an official Starfleet cadet, I now have a certain status to uphold. If you would refrain from all unnecessary and inappropriate physical contact, it would be greatly appreciated."

   Jim wasn't going to lie, it hurt, a lot, but he understood it wasn't something Spock had wanted to do, but more of something he _needed_ to do. He wouldn't allow himself to get hurt all over again. All he had left of Vulcan now, was his culture. "I understand. I don't like it at all, but I understand. If I do anything you're uncomfortable with just tell me. You may have everyone else fooled with that strangely sexy stoic facade, but I know better."

   "I do not deserve you, Jim."

   "I'm exactly what you deserve." Jim stops when he hears the words out loud. "That didn't come out quite right, but you got it, right?"

   "I believe so." Spock lets his mouth curl up for only the briefest of moments.


	16. An Illogical Secret (Bones Gives Complimentary Lobotomies)

   The good news was that Spock's time spent at the Vulcan Science Academy had a surprising amount of overlapping material with the entry level Starfleet courses, thus advancing him further ahead in his studies and landing him on the same graduation timeline as his bondmate. The bad news was that as they were pursuing different tracks, their classes rarely synchronized.

   On their first day back Spock could feel Jim repeatedly sifting through his brain during the day. He claimed it was just to check up on him and to see what he was doing, but Spock knew better than to believe him. Jim had, in fact, previously remarked his wish to use him to cheat in a passive comment. Spock took no chances and blocked any information that would be detrimental to Jim's personal growth and learning.

   Captains had a responsibility to the crew and their families to keep them safe and bring them home in one piece with their in-depth knowledge on a vast variety of subjects. As much as it pained Spock to consider, he may not always be around to bail Jim out of difficult situations. It was better to cut off the access now than to deal with the possibly catastrophic consequences later. 

   By the end of the week, no one had made an effort to approach Spock, besides two of Jim's friends Hikaru and Pavel. They would politely wave or smile when they passed by Spock but nothing more. On one hand, he was thankful for the space and peacefulness, he was newly bonded, on a new planet, studying a new career and _finally_ starting to overcome the remaining effects of _plak tow._ On the other hand, the lack of companionship was just as hard to deal with as it was back on Vulcan.

   No one else in the academy had learnt of their relationship. Jim and Spock had both agreed to keep it on the down-low for the time being. This gave Spock a chance to find a place, and to make a name for himself, instead of being forever branded as ' _The Golden Boys' Alien Lover'_  
  
" _Cheer up, you're bumming me out._ " Jim's voice fills Spock's mind. Already, his presence lifted his spirits.

   " _I believe you are still partaking in your exam._ "

   "... _Yeah_?" Jim knew just where this was going.

   " _We agreed that communicating during important academic events was unfair to your fellow classmates. Although this is not stated in the Offical Starfleet Academy Rules & Regulations, does not mean it is not morally and ethically wrong_."

   " _Fine. I'll see you at lunch._ "

   " _Wani ra yana ro aisha_."

   " _I love you too, Spock._ "

   It was safe to say that Jim was the only one in the lecture hall that smiled the entire way through his exam.

 

**•••**

 

   "Sorry, I'm late." Jim runs up breathlessly to Spock's table. It was the only one empty.

   "I don't mind waiting for you." Spock pushes his empty bowl aside.

   Jim has to consciously remind himself to not take the empty seat beside his Vulcan. "You're such a flirt, you know that?"

   "Perhaps." There was a small mischievous glint in his dark eyes. "Though I do not possess even a fraction of your natural charm."

   Jim swats his hand playfully but pulls back as soon as he remembered Spock's rules. "Stop it, I'm blushing."

   "You are not."

   "It's a figure of speak, Romeo...ignore that too. Anyways, you don't need to sit alone. Give us humans a chance, go make some friends. You already know Bones, Hikaru and Pavel. And what about Turak? It might be nice to take a break from my human mind and socialize with another Vulcan. Maybe he can help, he knows better than anyone what it's like adjust to a new planet."

   Spock looks Jim dead in the eye. "I do not need _assistance._ "

   "That's not- I don't-" Jim fumbles. He takes a few seconds to assemble his thoughts. "What I'm trying to say, is that you've been acting differently since you've got here, and it's not the good kind. I worry about you, I want you to feel comfortable, to make friends." His hands were itching to reach out but Jim distracted them by fiddling with his fork. "How about we go join another table? It could be fun."

   "I have a class that I must prep for. You may continue one without me." Spock stands up abruptly, smoothing his wrinkled cadet uniform with his long kissable fingers. It was a strange kink for a human, but at least Jim could happily blame it on his Vulcan while still enjoying its perks.

   Jim's heart sinks a little. He forgot just how late he was for their lunch rendezvous. It's no doubt Jim will be in a sour mood for the rest of the day because he didn't get to spend some face-to-face communication. "Alright. I'll see you soon." He nods dismissively and carries off his tray.

   The one thing Jim could do freely was enjoying the view as Spock walks away in those tacky, yet unforgiving, regulation standard pants. They were almost as hot as his nun-like meditation robes, but that was only because Jim quickly found out it was not customary to wear underwear underneath such attire. Nothing could beat Spock going commando in a dress.

   Jim tries his best to shake off that thought. Now definitely wasn't the time. He notices Bones all the way on the other side of the room, also alone.

   "Hey." Jim sets down his practically uneaten meal down for the second time. "You look lonely."

   "Well, unlike you, I actually prefer to spend my time alone." Bones doesn't look up from the ancient medical textbook he was flipping through. How he managed to get his hands on a book was certainly a mystery. "I saw you get ditched."

   "I didn't get ditched _._ " Jim peers across the table to get a glimpse of what his friend was looking at. He was not ready to see a crudely sketched diagram of a skull and brains along with several archaic medical instruments. Jim sits back down, his daily quota of ick being substantially filled. "God, what class are you taking that you need to know _that_?"

   Bones slams the book closed with a crazed smirk. "I don't. You just never know when you to perform a good old fashioned lobotomy. I'm hoping you'd be my first subject."

   The hair on Jim's arms stands up at the thought. "You know, I'd love to volunteer and all, but you wouldn't just be messing with my mind...ugh...I don't even want to think about that. I can't believe humans ever thought lobotomies were a good idea. Let's just change the subject."

   "If drilling into the skull isn't an appetizing topic, I don't know what is." He happily crosses his arms, leaning his chair back on two legs.

   "Dammit Bones, I'm considering doing a lobotomy on you because something must be wrong with you if you're getting this much pleasure out of my discomfort." Jim ponders throwing his tray of food in his face just to shut him up, but he was too hungry for that. "How about you tell me all the recent gossip instead?"

   Bones sighs, knowing his reign of outdated medical procedures was coming to an abrupt halt. "What'd you wanna know? Scotty locked himself in the engineering training room again. Rumour has it he's going to beat his personal record of six days this time."

   "No, no, about me. What are they saying about me? There has to be something. Fill me in here."

   "And somehow that isn't the most self-centered thing I've heard you say."

   "Just answer it."

   "Sometimes I believe this friendship is competently one-sided." Bones slides the book into his bag. "But if you really must know, the leading theory is that after your tantrum you were sent to some anger management program and the Vulcan you drug here is your coach/mentor. Th next one is a little strange but it's my favourite. It's that you caught some wickedly rare infection that gradually ate your liver. Spock was the very lucky donor. And before you ask, _no_ , no one has a clue of your intergalactic, interspecies, voodoo, mumbo jumbo _fling_ _thing_."

   "Your insults are lacking your usual creativity. You okay?"

   He waves a hand dismissively. "It's all good, I'm just a little tired. Hobgoblin #2 won't leave me alone. I'm glad he's back teaching, otherwise, I might actually die."

   Jim laughs at his misery. "That's what happens when you sleep with Vulcan. They'll stick around."

"Damn it, Jim! That's not what happened, and you know it. I need to go find someone less patronizing to ignore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Wani ra yana ro aisha - I love you


	17. An Illogical Dialect (Spock Makes A Friend)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, I just want to put something out there because I haven't updated in a while. Buckle down for next chapter though...

   "Do you mind if I sit here?"

   Spock looks up to see a tentative lovely young lady standing a respectful distance away. Her silky dark hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail, which she was twirling with as she waited patiently for a response.

   Spock preferred solitude and was not particularly fond of human companionship - expect for Jim, _of course -_ but this woman seemed polite. His husband would love to hear that for the first time since arriving, he did not sit alone. "I have no objection to your seating preferences."

   She slides in beside Spock with a giggle. "I'm Nyota, but most people call me Uhura."

   Spock waits for her to extend her hand in traditional human greeting but it never came. Jim had informed him that handshakes were a customary action, typically used when meeting, or greeting another human as a form of respect or acknowledgement. Had Spock misjudged her character? Did she not respect him?

   It bruised Spock's - apparent non-existent- ego a little, even if he would have kindly rejected a handshake if she offered it in the first place.

   "I am Spock."

   Uhura beams her sparkling white teeth towards him. " _Tonk'peh_ " It was a near-perfect pronunciation, even better than his mothers, who had most likely been learning the language long before Uhura was even born.

     Many questions came to mind but there was no time to ask them, the class was starting. Spock lists everything he wishes to ask and mentally files it away for later.

 

•••

 

   "I haven't seen you around here before. I'm assuming you're new because I definitely would've remembered a handsome Vulcan-like you." Uhura begins gathering her belongings after was class dismissed.

    Spock, who had already collected his items prior, waits patiently for Uhura to clear his blocked path. There was nothing illogical about partaking in casual conversation while passing the time. "I transferred to Earth, nine days ago."

   "Yeah?" She brushes her hair out of her eyes. "Where from? Raal? ShiKahr? Kir?"

   Spock raises both his eyebrows. She possessed such vast knowledge on Vulcan and Vulcan culture, yet, Spock was 95% sure she was a human. "ShiKahr, and the Vulcan Science Academy." He supplies. "Have you been?"

   She laughs softly. "On Vulcan? I wish, maybe one day. I'm merely just someone who's fascinated by the language. Maybe you could help me practice sometimes, it would help having someone around that is actually fluent."

   "Jim understands Vulcan." Well, in a very roundabout way, but Spock thought he would make a much better candidate for tutoring. Spock many have the knowledge, but Jim held all the charisma and social skills.

   Uhura cocks her head. "Jim Kirk? Did he tell you that? You should really know that he'll do almost anything to get someone to sleep with him. Trust me, I've been there."

   "You have engaged in sexual exploits with Jim?" Spock hides the rage from his voice like an expert. Somehow, knowing this was in the past -long before they were aware of each others existence- didn't help calm his thundering pulse.

   "Whoa! Slow down there. He came onto _me._ Trust me when I say _nothing_ will ever happen between us. Cocky and arrogant just isn't my type. Besides, I'm interested in someone else." She shies away from Spock's gaze. "It's not like it'll go anywhere, though, we're just too different." Her PADD lights up, signalling a new message. Uhura's lips curl upwards ever so slightly as she reads it. "I should get going. It was great meeting you. I'd really like it if we could hang out sometime."

   "As do I."

   "Great. I'll see you around, then." Uhura scurries off with a newfound pep in her step. Whoever messaged her, had quite the impact on her.

   This reminds Spock of Jim as he checks his own PADD.

_(2) new messages from: UR LOVE <3._

   Jim had most likely changed his contact name without Spock noticing because he himself certainly would not have chosen the name himself. Spock was sure that 'UR' was not a Terran word, and what could 'less than three' mean? He'll ask later when he gets the chance.

[15:43]: _Party at Scotty's l8tr, will_ _u_ _be my date? xoxo_

[15:50]: _If_ _u_ _don't want_ _2_ _go that's cool 2_

What a strange dialect of English he was using.

[16:13]: _I will accompany thee, Jim_.

[16:15]: _Woohoo! I'll stop by soon_ _2_ _pick_ _u_ _up._


	18. An Illogical Pursuit (Good Luck, You're Gonna Need It)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, everyone is expecting Nyota to be stuck-up and rude with a terribly possessive crush on Spock. Ladies already get enough of a bad rep in stories and I just want her to be happy, to find herself a handsome engineer to have a healthy and stable relationship with.

    When Scotty wasn't locking himself in academy classrooms, he lived off-campus in a cramped apartment only a few blocks away.

   Due to the slack alcohol rules in the building, Scotty enjoyed hosting parties any chance he could get. ' _Drinking with friends is less pathetic than drinking alone_.'

   The majority of attendees were from the same class year as Jim and Spock, which made Spock feel a little less uncomfortable, knowing he could recognize most of the faces.

   Jim pulls him into a quiet corner, away from the mob of students. "Think you're up for this? If you get uncomfortable we can always leave."

   "Thank you for your consideration, although it is not needed. I wish to stay and use this as an opportunity to observe and examine human culture."

   "You sure are the life of the party, Spock." Spock has known Jim long enough now to distinguish between a serious statement and one intended to be a playful joke. If his theory was correct, Jim made a joke. "You know I did some research of my own. Well, I actually just barraged Bones with questions. Why didn't you tell me Vulcans get drunk on chocolate?"

   Spock was, again, surprised by his partner's ingenuity. "The subject of the matter was never broached."

   "Oh, come on." Jim drags his fingers down Spock's arm. "How was I supposed to know to ask the question 'Hey man, what substances cause your alien biology to experience intoxication?'"

   Spock doesn't crack a smile but instead gives Jim a quick finger kiss. It was okay because Jim smiled enough for the both of them. "To me, you are the alien."

   "Hold on a second." Jim squints, rolling up on his tippy toes and craning his neck to see over the crowd. Spock graciously grabs his waist and hoists him upwards so he could get a better view. "I think Turak is here." He places Jim back down.

   Spock confirms Jim's sighting by focusing in on his voice. It was tricky with the amount of noise, but Vulcans speak in a very distinct and different manner than humans.

   "I think you should go talk to him, you two can be awkward together. I'm just going to get myself a drink. Do you want anything? Maybe some hot chocolate?" Jim winks and nudges his arm. If he didn't know better, Spock would've thought he was having a stroke.

   "I am fine."

   "Okay, just promise to let me know if you want to leave." Jim still hadn't made any attempt at getting his drink.

   "I am _fine._ " Spock repeats.

   "Alright, alright. Just go check on him for me. He doesn't have a devilishly handsome human like me to look out for him." This time, Jim does leave.

   Spock takes a few steps forward. "Turak." He keeps his voice at normal volume.

   Turak picks out his name amongst the sea of endless chatter. He starts walking in the direction he the sound. He sees Spock, who was also alone. It was an odd sight to process. He and his bondmate were usually in a close proximity.

   "Good evening." Spock greets his temporary roommate. Sadly, there was no room for Spock in Jim and McCoy's room and dorm transfers could only be made at the beginning of a semester. With no place to stay, Turak had graciously offered to let Spock stay with him in his facility dorm, which was much larger than the students.

   "Quite." Turak responds politely, but not with his usual attentiveness. His eyes were wandering purposefully through the crowd.

   "Are you looking for someone?" Spock follows his gaze. He was longingly staring at McCoy, the grumpy doctor. His fascination for the doctor was strange and mildly concerning.

   Turak reluctantly tears his eyes away and gives his full attention back to Spock. "I..." He looked as if he wanted to say something but was too scared to form the words. "I...I wish to pursue Leonard as a bondmate but I am hesitant. I have spent many years on Earth but I have yet to familiarize myself with the customary courting etiquette."

   It was a surprise, but it was not completely unexpected. Vulcans were not built to remain unbonded, they thrived on the close, comforting links that were formed at a very young age with their family.

   He was older than Spock and had definitely experienced his own Pon Farr, which from Spock could easily deduce that he was bonded at one point in his life. The details of what happened would remain a mystery, for now, it was an unacceptable topic to question.

   But Turak was currently unattached and as far as Spock knew, so was McCoy. He must believe there could be something more between them. Vulcans do not take the prospect of relationships lightly. He would've taken his time to ponder over all aspects of compatibility. If Turak was positive in his decision to court McCoy then Spock was in no position to object.

   "I believe your relationship with Jim and your mother could provide me with a unique perspective. I attempted to broach the topic to you on Vulcan, but you were understandably distracted." Turak continues on.

   Spock didn't know what to say. He shouldn't be the one giving love advice, Jim was quite literally shipped to him when he needed him most. There was no question about compatibility, no lengthy courting period, no doubting, no mind-linking ceremony it was all done. Everything he ever needed and more was left on his doorstep in a human named Jim.

   On the other hand, he was exactly the person that could provide Turak with vital information. His father was the very first documented Vulcan to choose a human wife, and continuing on the dishonourable tradition, Spock also found himself in an interspecies relationship, with a human.

   His family had singlehandedly shattered the outdated expectation that Vulcans could only marry Vulcans. His father abandoned his logic when it came to his mother _._ He showed that it's okay to follow your heart when it comes to what matters most; _love_.

  Now Turak had the confidence to follow his own heart, even if all those signs pointed towards McCoy.

   "I believe initiating a conversation with him would be an ideal start" Spock rarely didn't know what he was doing, and now was one of those time. He tried his best to sound sure and confident.

   "Oh, hey Turak." Jim returns with two cups. "I know you said you were fine but I brought you some water anyway."

   "Thank you." Spock gladly takes the cup from him and brings it to his lips. It was the perfect stalling tactic till he could figure out some legitimate advice.

   "So...what are you two chatter bugs talking about?" Jim asks, unknowingly saving Spock from a great deal of embarrassment.

   "I was merely asking Spock for advice." Turak clasps his hands behind his back in an attempt to appear more composed when reality he had never been so flustered. It had taken all of his confidence to bring forth his uncertainties, now it was all out in the open. Turak didn't know how he felt about that, it was no longer a problem he had to endure alone.

   Jim nods. "Oh yeah? What about?"

   "I find myself with a growing attraction towards Leonard but I am unfamiliar with traditional human customs regarding mating." Turak delivers the information so unemotionally that Jim had troubles grasping the depth of the words. If he wasn't Vulcan, Jim would've taken it as some form of a joke, but it wasn't.

   Turak, a Vulcan, was interested in Bones, a terribly moody human.

   "Wow, okay." Jim carefully selects his words, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He always hated to be the bearer of bad news but he had to break it to him now when the wound wouldn't be as deep. "Umm...That's great and all. I'm sure you two would make a lovely couple, but he's just not into guys - lord knows I've tried to sway him to the dark side - He's already got a little baby girl and a greedy ex-wife. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to waste your time on him." Jim purposefully leaves out Bones' particular distaste towards 'hobgoblins'. That was better left unsaid, he didn't want to _completely_ tear Turak's heart out.

   "I am aware of the complications, and am prepared to deal with them when the appropriate time arrives." He responds logically as if he had prepared his statement ahead of time.

   Jim was well aware he was speaking to a Vulcan, but still, he was surprised by how calmly Turak took the news. Had Bones already confided this information to him? If so, maybe Turak did have a shot. A very slim shot, but a shot none the less. "If you're still sure after all that, then I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can."

   "Thank you."

   "No problem. My first piece of advice? Bring him this, and make it seem like it was your idea." Jim holds out his untouched cup of alcohol. If Bones was going to experience the full wrath of a love-struck Vulcan, he'll need the drink more than anyone else at the party. "And good luck."

   Turak hesitantly takes the cup. "Vulcans do not lie." Oh man, has Jim heard _that one_ before.

   "You don't need to lie, just don't mention me and you'll be fine. Now go!" Jim impatiently gestures for him to leave. He hadn't seen Bones since arriving, but with the number of free drinks around, he couldn't be far.

   Turak slowly walks away, with the cup at an awkwardly hilarious distance.

   "Ah, young love. This makes me wonder what it would've been like if we met under different circumstances." Jim finally turns back to Spock with a nostalgic grin.

   "We could meet a thousand different ways, in a thousand different universes but the outcome would always remain the same. Us, together, even in death." It was the sincerity behind his calculating eyes that made Jim's cheeks hot and knees weak. It wasn't just pointless words spewed for the sake of instant gratification, it was the truth.

   Both Jim and Spock felt the overwhelming compulsion to kiss and touch, but it had to be ignored.

   "I'm going to go get another drink, the universe can't stop me from getting drunk," Jim says before leaving. He did want a drink, but removing himself from the sexually charged situation was also a good idea.

   Jim pushes himself through the throngs of cadets and towards the makeshift bar.

   Uhura was casually leant up against the table. She looked very different without her uniform on, and her long hair was down for once. She was beautiful, and for the first time since Jim had laid his eyes on her, he felt nothing. Well, anything in a 'more-than-a-friend' way. He was still intrigued by her quick wits and could still appreciate her physical attributes, but there was no _drive_ behind it, he wanted nothing more, and expected nothing less.

   "Hey." Jim politely greets her as he starts pouring himself a drink.

   Uhura eyes him suspiciously. "What? Have you finally ran out of pick-up lines?"

   He kind of deserved that. He didn't exactly have a very chivalrous track record with her. But now with his playboy days behind him, Jim could see them becoming good friends one day. "Are you disappointed?"

  "No. Just surprised, and maybe a little bit worried about your health." Uhura places the back of her hand on Jim's forehead. She seemed to be in a more playful mood now that she sees that Jim isn't just trying to pick her up.

   "Trust me, I'm the healthiest I've ever been." Jim laughs as he takes his first glorious sip of alcohol. It had been a long while since he had the chance to unwind with a good beer. "And believe it or not, I'm in a very committed relationship."

   A small trickle of liquid spills from her mouth but for the most part, she avoids a flat out spit-take. "You? You're right, I don't believe it." Jim hands her a napkin and she gladly wipes off her chin, careful not to smudge her lipstick. "Thanks."

   "You're welcome."

  "Okay, now you're seriously freaking me out. Who are you? and why are you so nice?" Uhura plays it off as a joke, but there was some truth behind her words. Something _must've_ have happened to James T. Kirk.

   "Hey! I've always been nice! Sometimes it's been in a very, _very_ roundabout way, but I've never been intentionally impolite." Jim defends himself. "Maybe I have changed, for the better."

   People can change in an instant, but even over time, reputation rarely wavers. This was just something Jim needed to live with, and hopefully, he'd be the rare one that's reputation beats the odds.

   Uhura still wasn't having it. "So, let's say I believed all of this, everything you're saying. Then why are still talking to me then? I thought you only thought of me as a potential conquest, there's nothing left for you here."

   Okay, that hurt. Jim had never wanted anyone he was attracted to feel that way, especially someone he thought so highly of.

   "It was never just sex to me; sure I wouldn't have objected to it, but what really drew me in is the insurmountable dedication you pour into everything you do. You don't receive nearly as much as the appreciation you deserve. You'd make a lovely addition to my crew one day."

   Uhura looks at Jim and something changes between them. There was no longer the cold misunderstood wall between them, they were now just two people, hanging out.

   Then things change even faster, and suddenly Uhura is leaning in with eyes half-lidded and lips out. She came only close enough that Jim could smell the alcohol on her breath. This wasn't her. "No. Stop."

   Uhura stops without protest, opens her eyes only inches away from his face and chuckles. "Got you." She whispers.

   It takes Jim am embarrassingly long time to figure out that she wasn't serious. "What was that for?"

   "Just one last test, to see if you really are telling the truth."

  "And?"

   "You passed. Somehow, against all laws of nature, _you_ have been tamed." Uhura nudges Jim in the shoulder, trying to loosen him back up again. The almost kiss had really caught him off guard. It was just another layer of proof. "I know a lot of people and aliens that are going to very disappointed to now your unavailable."

   "Yeah...If you could just keep this to yourself, I'd be ecstatic. We're kind of taking thing slow right now and would like to share the news on our own terms." Jim explains.

   Uhura gives Jim a nice, proper hug. "You've got it Romeo. Your secret is safe with me."

 


	19. An Illogical Clinginess (A Turn For The Worst)

"I wonder how Turak is holding up." Jim absently picks a piece of fuzz off of Spock's sweater. He already has a few drinks in him and the buzz was making him restless. "I hope Bones hasn't killed him yet."

   "That would be highly illogical."

   Jim laughs. "I'm glad we can both agree on that. Wanna dance?" He bounces up and down on the balls of his feet. He was itching to do something, _anything_ but standing still.

   "We have already been over this, I am fine. You do not need to stay and coddle me. I am aware that you wish to be with your friends."

   Jim frowns. Sure, he wanted to mingle with his friends but he couldn't just ditch Spock without feeling guilty. He would never choose to go to a party himself, but he came because Jim asked him too. The least he could do was make sure he was having a pleasant time. "You _are_ my friend."

Spock gives Jim a longing look. "I know. We have spent much time together, but you are neglecting your friendships." and with a mischievous smirk, he adds "I must learn to share you."

Jim takes a step back, laughing. "Okay, okay. If you want me gone so badly, I'll leave."

•••

   Uhura catches Spock's eye from across the room. She excuses herself from her conversation and skips happily over to him. "Spock! I didn't think we'd see each other so soon! Are you having fun?"

He thinks back over the events since arriving and to be honest, it hasn't been nearly as terrible as Jim believes it has been for him. "I am."

"That's good." Uhura nods along to the music. Then in a complete switch of attitude she turns to him very seriously. Spock assumes her erratic behaviour is stemming from the alcohol in her hand. "The weirdest thing just happened to me. You know Jim, right? You hang out or something?"

"Affirmative." Spock answers curiously. What could she possibly have to say about Jim?

"Yeah, well, you probably haven't been around long enough to know this, but he doesn't _do_ relationships." She pauses her rambling, waiting for Spock to confirm that he was indeed listening. He nods, and that was enough for her to continue. This was bursting in her mind, she needed to tell someone but she promised Jim she wouldn't tell anyone. Vulcans don't count, right? They can keep a secret. "So I just bumped into him over at the bar, and first of all, he didn't even open with some sleazy one-liner like he always does, so immediately I was concerned. Was he feeling okay? He said he was fine, and just that, get this...he was in a _serious relationship._ Do you see the problem here?"

"No." Spock sees no such problem. In fact, he felt quite the opposite.

Uhura sighs then continues barreling on. "Well, of course, I didn't believe him right away so I tried to kiss him to-"

"You did what?" Spock doesn't wait for her to finish this time. If this was his very first interaction with her, his reaction would have taken a very different direction. From the short time they knew each other, Spock could tell Uhura was not a malicious person, so he gives her the benefit of doubt, however hard it may be.

   "Okay, maybe it wasn't the most conventional method, but it worked. Hr refused my advances. I really think he's serious about the whole relationship thing." She explains.

   Spock could feel himself wanting to smile, but he holds it back. He already knew that Jim was faithful, but hearing it said out loud by a third party had a strange appeal. "Jim is telling the truth."

   "So, do you know who it is?" Uhura leans in, with a lowered voice.

"I do." Spock answers.

"Care to indulge me with a name?"

"No."

"Well, it was worth a shot." She laughs lightheartedly. "I should go and find Scotty. I'll be back soon!"

Spock nods in farewell and alone again he was.

 

**•••**

 

   Jim was having fun with his friends, Spock had been right when he said he should reconnect with them. He couldn't believe the amount of things that had transpired while he had been gone.

   Of all the things he had missed, Hikaru and Pavel's hand to hand combat demonstration was by far the most painful to hear. He had been waiting for that inevitable pairing since the moment he found out they were in the class together. To make matters worse, witnesses had claimed it was even more sexually charged than originally expected. (He wasn't the only one waiting for the iconic moment)

   Maybe Jim could get them to agree to a private reenactment of the fight, you know, for educational purposes.

   But despite all the fun he was having, Jim felt _off_ like something was missing. He played it off as himself not quite being accustomed to spending long amounts of time away from his husband. They were technically still in the honeymoon phase, so it was a normal feeling to have.

It was another hour before Jim's mind was so out of it that he couldn't even keep the conversations around him straight, they all just ended up in one giant, jumbled unintelligible mess. "I think I'm gonna go." Jim slurs over his words. It had been so long since he had drank last that his tolerance that he worked so hard to build had taken a serious nose dive.

His friends wave him off as he fumbles through everyone. Of course, Spock still hasn't moved from his special 'quiet' corner of the room but Jim was surprised to see Uhura chatting happily to him with Scotty's arm wrapped comfortably around her waist. Man, love was sure in the air tonight. "Hey, Jim." Uhura waves.

"Hey, guys." Jim says as he stumbles over a cup on the floor. Spock was quick to catch him by the arm before he faceplanted.

Jim regains his footing, but Spock continues to hold onto him with a look of growing concern. "You are far too inebriated. I believe some rest would be beneficial to your overall health and motor functions."

"You know, I was gonna say the same thing, but ya' know, less Vulcan-ey." Jim giggles. After a few moments, Uhura and Scotty join in with his laughter.

"Goodbye Uhura, Scotty." Spock nods, relocating his arm around Jim's waist for more stability. The last thing he needed was for him to fall down a flight of stairs or run into a particularly fast moving vehicle or heavy machinery. Spock had never handled a drunk human before, so it was only logical to assume the worst and go from there. "I will accompany Jim safely back to his dorm."

"Have fun." Uhura squeezes out between her bubbling laughs.

Despite her wishes, preventing Jim from a premature death was not fun at all.

 

**•••**

 

"Stay." Jim grasps Spock's shirt collar as he sets him gently down on the bed. "Please?" He pouts.

   Spock places his hand overtop of Jim's and gives him a quick Vulcan kiss before using his alien strength to pry him off of himself. "I also wish to stay-"

   "Then stay, just don't go." Jim whines as he goes to reach for Spock again, but he was just out of reach. He didn't know why he was suddenly being so petulant, usually, he was more mature about this. Normally if he was in a clingy mood he'd approach it in a more... _sexually pleasing_ way. It sure had a hell of a success rate.

  But again, this was Jim's first time drinking while bonded so he shouldn't really be surprised about all these new side effects. Over time he'd probably be able to control them, but for now, there was really nothing else to do but wait it out.

   "I am sorry _ashaya,_ Bones does not approve of me staying over."

Jim huffs. "But he isn't even here!"

   "That does not void his rules. Try to sleep. If your loneliness continues to persist you know where I am staying." Despite the confident demeanour, it pained Spock to know that he was the one causing his bondmate such open distress. But his actions were necessary, if he indulged every one of Jim's wants and desires, they would never leave his bed. Although tempting, there was the Terran phrase 'too much of a good thing' for a reason.

"One more kiss?" Jim peeks up through his lashes, still pouting.

In Spock's scientific opinion, he believed to have found the single exception to the too much rule; you can _never_ have too many kisses. So, in the name of science, Spock does not deprive Jim of his one last request.

Spock steps closer, allowing Jim to reach for him. Instead of Jim pulling him down by the neck for a human kiss like he typically does, he goes with two fingers extended and runs them down the back of Spock's hand, down his fingers, over his palm and then back around again.

Spock shivers against his touch. This was a much different finger kiss than any of the other ones Jim had given Spock. It was more purposeful, more _aware_ if that made any sense. It was almost enough for him to drop his mental shields completely and join Jim under his soft sheets.

Jim grazes over the pads of his fingertips and Spock loses all speech capability. He had to awkwardly clear his throat several times instead just to get Jim's attention. Usually, he had no problem getting him to stare at him.

Jim tears his focus away from the pleasurable gesture to Spock. He was flustered beyond belief, with dark and hungry eyes and a green flush that spread all the way down his chest. Jim immediately retracts his hand, feeling guilty for not noticing his uncomfortableness sooner. "Sorry, I got a little carried away. I think it's the drinks in me, but I just can't shake this urge to touch you."

   Spock clasps his hands behind his back to help ground his bodies rampant physical responses. "It is understandable. Sleep well."

   "Don't let the bed bugs bite." Jim quips.

   " _Pardon_?"

   Jim chuckles. "Sleep well, Spock."

He falls asleep the moment the door closes behind Spock.

 

**•••**

 

"Yo, get up kid." Bones picks up a dirty t-shirt and throws it at his sleeping friend. "I had the weirdest night last night. You wouldn't believe what happened, I think I got hit on...by _Turak_." Bones throws another shirt at Jim, and still no response. This immediately raises a few internal red flags. He'd seen this before, but it wasn't supposed to still be happening.

Bones, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, maneuvers himself across the room as quietly as he could. "Jim?" He whispers and slowly pulls the sheets away from his face. There was Jim, just as he imagined him to be; eyes closed impossibly tight and hands pressing his ears down flat.

"Jim?" Bones softly places a hand on his chin to let him know he was there.

   Jim groans, pulling the blankets back over his face. "Head hurts..."

   "It's just a hangover, right?" Bones tries to laugh but it falls flat. He knew that the answer wasn't quite as simple and straightforward.

   "No. Do ya' still have my pills?"

   Of course, he still had his pills. Bones didn't trust Spock. He had an all access pass to Jim's brain, something was bound to go wrong eventually. "I'll get your pills, but after that I'm gonna track down that damn Vulcan, give him a piece of my mind and drag his sorry ass back here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't been uploading this as often, but I've been working on a very big (multi-chaptered) surprise that should be posted relatively soon...


	20. Chapter 20: An Illogical Pain (Someone Gets Handsy)

   If you had any sense of self-preservation, you would steer clear of Bones when he was on a mission. So when that mission came down to tracking a guilty party, no one held back information. As its turns, out, tracking down the only Vulcan student in Starfleet wasn't actually that hard. He only had to pester one passerby to find the exact location. It was disappointing really, Bones was in the mood for a tough interrogation.

Spock was in Stellar Cartography, freaking _Stellar Cartography,_ who even takes that? They had to all be that wishing some screaming lunatic to run in and disrupt the class. Well, today was their lucky day.

Bones picks up his pace until he was blurring the line between walking and flat out sprinting. His joints were aching with age and his breathing was coming out shallow and ragged. He mentally notes to throw in a physical course or two next semester.

Soon enough, Bones was barreling through the half-empty rows of seats in the classroom to Spock, who was seated in the very front row like the prim-and-proper teacher's pet he was.

The professor had long since stopped talking. She didn't really seem all that mad about the interruption if anything she was probably just as glad as the students for a break.

   "Bones." Spock greets him in a monotonous voice that made Bones want to slap that damn raised eyebrow right off his face.

   "It's Jim." It was either something in the deadpan tone of his voice or his overly rigged posture that had set Spock off and out of his seat in a matter of seconds. Or it could have just of been that he said that one magic word. _Jim._

   "I apologize for the disturbance, professor, but there is a personal matter I must attend to immediately. I fully accept whatever disciplinary action you seek fit."  Spock gathers his books in his arms.

  The professor just laughs. "I'm not going to _disciple_ you, Spock. I am not your parent, and I'm sure you wouldn't leave unless it was an absolute emergency."

  Spock nods. "Thank you."

  "Now go." She waves him off with a smile.

  Bones turns to give her his best apologetic face before walking back out with Spock closely trailing.

   When they get back in the hall, Bones significantly speeds up. Spock has no problem keeping up. "Is Jim alright?" He asks with so much worry in his voice that he _almost_ sounds human.

  "I don't know!" Bones whisper yells. "You tell me!"

  Spock was extremely puzzled by the situation. All he knew was that something wasn't right with Jim, and Bones wouldn't give him a straight answer. "Tell you what?"

   "Tell me what the hell you did to him! He's been fine since you've met and now all of the sudden he's not? You had to have done something to him!"

   "I do not have the necessary information to answer your question. If I knew what was ailing him, perhaps I would be able to narrow down my actions and come to a certain conclusion."

"Yeah? Well that's just the problem, isn't it? I have no clue what's wrong with him. And here I thought that _you_ would be able to tell _me_. I guess I was stupid to believe that you'd be able to help." Bones clenches his teeth. This conversation was getting nowhere, and it was doing nothing but frustrating each other.

   It was heavy and angry silence for the rest of the way.

 

  **•••**

 

   Spock's arm shoots our, blocking Bones before he could step into his room. He couldn't stop him, he was Jim's friend too. Bones faces him, ready to shove that bastard out of the way until then he catches Spock's glare.

   There was something primal and dangerous flaring deep beneath his dark eyes, like a warning, signalling all those ballsy enough to look to back off, _or else_. This, paired with sharp features contorted into a deadly scowl was enough to convince Bones to take several steps back.

   "I'll just...I'll just wait here." Bones' voice was small and defeated. It hit him hard then, that there was absolutely _nothing_ he could offer, _nothing_ he could do to help his best friend. All he could do was step back and let someone else help.

   It was a hard thought to process.

  Perhaps his distaste of Spock was an irrational one, formed solely from his inability to accept and encourage change. Bones had spent so long being the most important person in Jim's life that he couldn't imagine having to share that top prize. He was always the first one called upon when he was feeling sick, wanted company getting trashed, or needed a last minute drug-run.

  Bones had to face the truth, he was acting like a sibling jealous over the new baby, doing whatever it takes to get attention from his mom. And then suddenly, one day, that baby is all grown up and they're the best thing that's ever happened to you.

   Bones was still begging for Jim's attention, and waiting for Spock to grow up, but it was comforting to know that maybe over time, things would gradually work themselves out.

Spock slinks into the room, closing the door promptly behind himself.

There was nothing left for him to do but sit tight and wait. But with a swift change of heart, Bones refuses to give into the losing mentality. There _had_ to be something he could do, no matter how small or insignificant.

 

**•••**

 

   "Jim?" Spock's calls while his eyes adjust to the dark room.

"Spock." Jim replies from under a lump of blankets.

Spock rushes to his bedside, noting the helpless crack in his voice. His love was hurting. "What is wrong ?" Spock too, found it hard to speak.

   Jim with eyes pressed closed, kicks the blankets off his bed. "Lay with me, first." He rolls over of his stomach to make room, face buried in the pillow.

   As gently as he could, Spock climbs into the bed, laying on his side anxiously facing Jim. "Please, love." Spock thumbs the rounded curve of his ear.

Jim turns his head on the side so he could talk. "My head hurts." It was with great perseverance that he open his eyes for the first time that day. Although the room was nearly pitch black, it was still too bright, but he pushed through the pain, he couldn't stand to cause Spock more anxiety.

The childish dreamer part of Jim thought that if their eyes locked for just one magical, reassuring moment, everything would be okay again. Of course, that only happens in fairytales and as far as he was aware, he was not currently present in one.

The reaction Jim got was quite the opposite as intended. It had caused Spock more pain to see how his spirited eyes had lost their usual bright lustre and were now dull and lifeless.

It was a terrifying reality. If all _this_ had happened so rapidly, what would become of Jim given a day, or two?

"How may I assist?"

"I don't know. Just...just hold me."

So Spock does, and eventually, Jim falls asleep.

 

**•••**

 

"-I just thought you'd like to know what's going on." Bones finishes giving Turak a long winded synopsis of Jim's state.

   "I appreciate your consideration."

Bones sits down at Turak,s desk and drops his head in his hands. He didn't have a class for another hour, so they were free to talk for a little while. "I feel so useless."

"You are not useless. You are a gifted medic and a vital part of Jim's well-being." And then Turak does something unexpected. He puts a hand on Bones' back and begins to rub in soothing circles.

   Bones was far too emotionally drained to fight back with some snarky comment like he usually does, so he allows it, and after a few seconds, he begins to enjoy it. With each circle made with the Vulcans slender hands, a small bit of tension and worry would disappear from his mind and body.

   When five fingers turn into two, the result is doubled.

    Bones had lost track of time by the time Turak stops. He hadn't felt so rested and relaxed in months. Whatever he had done to him, it certainly wasn't of Earth origins. "Thanks." Bones says softly, his mind slowly surfacing from the blissful haze of warmth.

   "It-it was no inconvenience. Such stress can be detrimental to your health, so I merely...helped relieve it." Turak answers, with slight difficulties. He was thankful no one could not see him as he was embarrassingly flushed and _emotional_.

   "Yeah, well, whatever you did, it was amazing." Bones takes a long, deep breath. If he hadn't stopped he could have easily fallen asleep.

Turak swallows guiltily. He didn't deserve the praise he was receiving. He was so wrapped up in helping Leonard that he had actively manipulated his emotions without permission. And that he had...bathed him in kisses.

The Vulcan in him was demanding that he reveal the truth, and to accept whatever consequence he deserved. But there was also the illogical part of him -the part that revealed itself only when the doctor was involved- that wanted to keep his actions a secret. He didn't want him to despise him for what he had done.

   It was better to keep quiet.

   "I should prepare for my class." Turak changes the subject before he could ask questions.

   "Don't let me stop you." Bones leans back in his chair, watching Turak intently as he begins to gather whatever professor-like materials he needed. When everything was gathered, he neatly prepped everything neatly on his desk.

   When the first few students eventually filter in, they curiously eye Bones, who was still strewn across Turak's desk chair, while their professor was stuck standing off to the side without objection.

   Bones calmly sat there for the rest of the class, watching Turak from behind as he gave a surprisingly interesting and insightful lecture on the different class species.

Only once did he think of Jim, but it was no longer with a heavy heart. He would be okay, he had to be.


	21. An Illogical Breakfast (Motherly Advice)

   Jim had been sleeping for a few hours now, and Spock was still as distraught as ever. He needed to talk to someone, but only someone he trusted.

   Spock needed his mother.

   Spock pulls Jim off of himself and gets out of his bed. He notices Jim's PADD sitting on the bedside table. Spock grabs it and turns it on, the soft glow of the screen casting a dim light over the room. He then proceeds to enter all the necessary communication information and waits for the line to be established. A few more moments and Amanda's face appears onscreen.

   "Spock! It's so good to see your face again. I miss you. It's so strange not having you home." She swoons. In the background, Spock could see the various native Vulcan flora of his mother's garden and the deep red sky of a sunset. The time difference had slipped Spock's mind completely.

   "I am in need of advice." Spock replies sullenly.

   Amanda's joyous smile drops to a serious, calculating press of lips. It was the same face she would put on when she was in public or around Vulcans. "Is Jim okay?" She questions. Not even light years apart could squander her mother's intuition.

   "He has fallen ill once again." Spock informs her.

   "How is that possible? Pon Farr is over, is it not?"

   Spock glances over to his sleeping husband, who had since curled himself tightly around a pillow. "It is a different problem, one he has had carried since a small child. Jim suffers from incapacitating migraines and his usual medication has had no effect."

   Amanda furrows her brows. Something wasn't adding up. "Migraines? Medication? Jim seemed more than healthy when he was here on Vulcan."

   This was also what had befuddled Spock. "His ailments ceased upon our meeting."

"...and now he's fallen ill again?"

"Yes."

"This all leads to you as the cause, and with that, the _cure_." She determines 

And there it was again. Someone else telling him that ' _it was his fault'_ and that he needed to _'fix Jim'_ "I do not know what to do, mother. How do I help him?" There was an air of pleading desperation that neither had missed.

Amanda couldn't bear having her son in such an emotionally compromising situation, so she closes her eyes and searches her motherly brain for a solution. After a few tense minutes, she remembers something. "Spock, do you remember when you approached me about wishing to be bonded?"

   "Yes." Of course, he remembered, he had a superior memory capability. He just wasn't sure why that piece of information was relevant.

   "You were asking me about what your father and I had felt before we were bonded and if Sarek had felt a certain emptiness. I assumed that you were experiencing an emptiness prior Jim?"

   "That is correct." Spock nods.

   Amanda continues on. "Did that emptiness ever cause you pain?"

   "Minimal, yet I had no trouble managing it."

   "Okay, so if _you_ were experiencing pain where your telepathic bond was supposed to be, would you not assume that Jim would have also experienced pain? Imagine if you didn't have the psychic ability to identify, monitor and control that missing part of your mind. Would his pain not be multiplied by those factors?"

   "You are implying that Jim's migraines are caused by his mind seeking mine?" Spock was beginning to catch onto her train of thought, even if he was not yet sure of the destination.

"Yes. So when you two bonded, your minds melded and everything was how it was meant to be." Amanda explains. The suns were nearly done setting behind her, giving his mother a dark violet backdrop, while the light from her PADD was lighting her face. 

   It hits Spock hard when he finally sees where she was headed.

   "I have only one more question for you, Spock." She had to have noticed the look of realization on his face. _"Have you blocked your mind from Jim's?_ "

The words had hurt Spock physically. This _was_ _his_ fault. _He_ was the one causing Jim such insufferable pain. "I have." Spock replies weakly. "It was...it was a precaution taken to prevent an unfair educational advantage."

Amanda wishes Spock were back home, where she could give her son a hug. Even if he didn't admit it, she knew Spock found her hugs reassuring and pleasant. "I should let you leave. You know what you need to do, Spock. Tell Jim I said hi."

"Goodbye, mother." He ends the communication.

"It's not your fault." Jim suddenly whispers croakily.

Spock goes and sits on the side of his bed. "I am sorry." And for the first time in his adult life, a rogue tear slips down his cheek.

Jim immediately reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb. "I don't blame you. _I love you_."

Spock catches Jim's hand between his before he could pull it away, and kisses the tips of each his fingertips. "I love thee, as well. Will you allow me to meld with your mind?"

"It's just like you've said before; my mind is your mind."

  And then Spock smiles. A real, upturned lips, teeth baring, smile.

**•••**

 

  Spock didn't want Jim to go to class the next day, but he also doesn't want Jim to have a burger for breakfast, but Jim won't let that stop him when they get to the cafeteria.

   "You need rest." Spock presses for the third time since awaking. He had spent the night since Bones had messaged Jim that he wouldn't be coming home that night.

   Jim grabs his cadet uniform off of the floor and slips it on. Spock makes a displeased face, and finally, he could _feel_ his emotions again. Jim had also forgotten how strangely pleasant and comforting it was to share a mind; and a pain-free one at that.

   Amanda had been right, the mental barrier between them was dangerous and detrimental. Once it was removed, the pain had vanished, like it was never there, to begin with.

   "I feel great, Spock. I'd love to stay and have sex with you but I've already missed enough classes."

  "Pardon?" Spock looks taken aback.

"I might have peeked." Jim winks, tapping his temple with a smirk. "Now, I'm going to go get a sub-par replicated hamburger for breakfast and go to class, okay?"

   Spock stands up from the bed -of course already in uniform long before Jim has even woken up. "We share Earth History first thing."

   "Oh, right. I forgot about that."

   "You forgot? That is troublesome." Spock begins to look worried again.

   Jim laughs and gives Spock a nice long kiss on the mouth. It was partly to shut him up, and partly just for the hell of it. They were married, he was allowed to kiss for no reason. "It's ironic that you forgot that humans are occasionally forgetful."

   "I fail to see the irony."

   Jim rolls his eyes and kisses him again. "We better go before the crowd hits the cafeteria."

 

**•••**

 

Jim was no longer in excruciating pain, he was well rested and was sitting with his husband with a burger in his hands.

   Life was _good_.

"We should inform the administration of our marital status and telepathic link." Spock says over his bowl of salad; for _breakfast_. But then again, Jim could say the same for his current meal of choice.

   "Why? I really don't think it's any of their business." Jim finally takes the glorious first bite of burger. It was wonderful to eat again after an entire day of skipping meals.

   "It is exactly their business. There already is a regulation set in place that states if both married parties are enrolled in Starfleet, they are required to disclose that information; thus granting them priority to serve on the same ship as their spouses. It would be catastrophic if we were assigned to different ships."

   "Okay, so we tell them were married. But why the mental bond? Isn't that a little too personal? There can't possibly be a rule regarding that." Jim points out.

Spock turns his over the fork and inspects it closely. "There is indeed no such regulation, as Starfleet has never encountered such a unique situation as our own. If we are to continue on as we are and finish our schooling without the administration's knowledge of our capabilities, we are at risk of having our titles stripped at any moment during our career due to our dishonesty. We must settle the preconceived misconception that all telepaths cheat _before_ it poses a threat to our future later on."

"Alright." Jim replies almost inaudibly with his mouth stuffed, after -literally- biting off more he could chew. He goes for about a minute more of chewing before he could painfully force a swallow. "How about we go down to the office after Earth History? We've got about an hour before any of our other classes start, right?"

"Correct."

"Then it's settled. We'll go after class." Jim smiles, and to offset the serious conversation, gives Spock a little taste of what they could end up doing if they had any extra time left over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've noticed that my grammar/spelling has improved I've been using this extension on my browser that helps me out. If you're a writer I highly recommend using the chrome extension "Grammarly"
> 
> Also if you're interested in a more in-depth plot line of Bones/Turak I have a book posted on my Wattpad called 'Turak & Bones: The Lost Chapters' which can be found here: https://www.wattpad.com/343787205
> 
> Enjoy!


	22. An Illogical Title (These Are Hard To Come Up With, Okay?)

_Admiral J.R. Jennings_   
_Director Of Educational Services_   
_Room #202_

   "Is this him?" Jim asks, pointing to screen directory on the wall of the Academy's Administration Office entrance. He had since lost all hope for returning back the academy on time for his next class. Finding out who exactly they needed to speak too was a lot harder than expected, but after an hour of aimlessly questioning clueless faculty, Admiral Jennings was their last true lead.

"I believe so." Spock says in a clipped tone. Even he was getting tired of all the run-around.

Jim pulls together the last of his patience and freely shares it with Spock's welcoming mind. _"Itaren, ashaya."_ He replies out loud, but in a whisper so soft only the intended could hear.

" _Veling, ainama kaifo."_ Jim smiles sweetly and kisses his ' _ainama kaifo_ ' quickly on the lips. It was a public gesture that he was no longer afraid to make. They'd both happily settled into academy life, Spock had begun to pave his own path separate from Jim's and they were about to disclose their relationship status with Starfleet. It was no longer logical to keep things a secret.

Spock looked surprised, for multiple reasons. First of all, Jim had spoken to him in broken and ill-pronounced Vulcan leading him to believe that he had learnt the phrase on his own accords. And secondly, Jim had given him a very human kiss in a very public place. He would allow it this time. "It is you Jim, that beautiful. I do not deserve such a perfect partner."

Jim blushes bashfully at the   
overwhelmingly genuine sincerity. Before Spock, he had never truly experienced love; and now, he had so much that he didn't know what to do with it all. It was amazing.

"I'd really like to go all day with the sweet compliments but I'm afraid this place _isn't_ open all day."

So with one last compliment sent via mind-link, they locate the turbo lift and head for floor 2, room #202.

Only minutes later they were standing before an office door with brushed metal numbers adorning the front. While Jim was too busy admiring the handiwork, Spock promptly knocks on the door.

"It's unlocked, enter." A voice aimlessly calls from inside. Spock presses a button on the keypad beside the door and it opens into a cramped office with a large window overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.

   Admiral Jennings turns around in his chair and is immediately caught off guard by something. His tanned, work-hardened face briefly lighting up in excitement before dropping to a deeply sombre expression. "Kirk." He whispers.

Jim was confused, he was almost positive that he'd never met him before, but the admiral was looking at him with such an intense recognition that it made him doubt his memory.

"My apologies for staring, you just, uh...reminded me of an old friend." Jennings awkwardly laughs as he extends his hand. Jim accepts the handshake. "I'm Admiral Jennings, but don't be fooled by my title, I'm just the 'Director Of Education Services' which is just fancy talk for 'Paperwork Slave'

Jim laughs, Spock doesn't. "It's nice to meet you, I'm James Kirk, and this is Spock."

He looks to Spock in surprise. He probably doesn't deal with many Vulcans tucked away in this office. "What can I help you two with?"

"We would like to officially disclose our marital status." Spock speaks up.

"Which is...?" The admiral trails off, eyeing them both up.

"Married." Jim answers, gesturing between them. "We are married."

Admiral Jennings nods and begins typing into his computer. "Do you have any legal documentation regarding your union?"

Jim looks to Spock with an ' _oh shit_ ' face. " _You don't just happen to be carrying around anything useful?_ "

   Spock's gaze remains on the Admiral as he replied through the bond. " _I am carrying several items that are proficient in their designated area, none, however, would be applicable to this current situation._ "

   " _A simple no would have sufficed, Spock. What do we do now?_ "

   Admiral Jennings spoke before Spock had a chance to answer. "Are you two alright? You both kind of zoned out there for a little bit." His face was scrunched in genuine concern.

   Jim chuckles, which seemed to greatly relax the still slightly on edge  Admiral. "Sorry about that. No need to worry, we're perfectly fine. We just don't have any documents of the sort with us at the moment. Do you think we could come back later?"

   "Oh, for sure. You're free to drop by at any time. Is there anything else you need?"

"Umm, yeah. There is..." Jim starts hesitantly, suddenly getting cold feet at the potential consequences that could arise upon admittance. Would they both be discharged before graduation? Or perhaps punished for not speaking up sooner? Would they receive zeroes on all assignments taken since returning due to the lack of ability to verify or dismiss cheating claims?

Spock could feel Jim's fear snowballing out of control but before it could conclude in a paralyzingly cacophony, he splays a reassuring hand across Jim's lower back. " _We will be alright._ "

"Well then, what is it?" The Admiral leans back in his chair, with his hands behind his head. "I'd say I don't have all day, but I do, and as sad as it sounds, you two are the most interesting thing that's happened here in weeks. Not that you're _things,_ you're people. Well, one people, I mean _person_ and one Vulcan. And wow, _together?_ that's a new one! Not that anything is wrong with interspecies relationships it's just tha..." He stops suddenly. "That It'd be a good idea to stop talking right about now."

Jim laughs out loud at the prime example of the very human trait known as 'digging yourself a hole.' This, of course, was lost on Spock along with the humour of the situation. "Don't worry 'bout it."

"Now where were we? Before I made a complete fool of myself, that is?"

Jim glances at Spock, who nods to him encouragingly. "I was going to tell you something, something strange, but Spock and I feel it should be disclosed even though it isn't specified in protocol or even mentioned anywhere in either Starfleet or Academy rules, directives or orders."

  The Admiral sits up straighter, sensing the serious situation. "Disclose whatever you feel necessary. I'd also like to remind you that we do take confidentiality very seriously here. Nothing will be disclosed without your expressed permission."

   "Okay. So, as you may or may not know, Vulcans are touch telepaths and can, therefore, communicate through physical contact. Now, because we are bonded, our minds are joined, contact is no longer a necessity."

Jim pauses and waits for Admiral Jennings to signal he was still following along. He gives a small nod, so Jim continues. "I won't bore you with the specifics of it all but Spock and I have a... _special_ bond, one that transcended space itself. This means we are extra connected, which makes us unable to physically or mentally function without having a clear and open telepathic link. We experience each other's thoughts and emotions as if they were our own, as one. We can 'talk' so to speak, across great distances. I know that this can, at first glance, seem like an incredibly unfair advantage in regards to our studies and education here, but I promise you that we will _always_ respect the rules and boundaries set in place and will never misuse or manipulate our marriage or abilities into a tool for our own personal gain or that of our career."

Spock was impressed with Jim. He always knew he naturally held a great deal of charm and persuasiveness, but when he was really trying, it was undeniably infatuating. Jim could've told him that the sun wasn't a star and he would've believed it. The Admiral never stood a chance

   "Wow." He says, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Uh...that's definitely a lot to take in and I don't think I'm qualified enough to deal with it all. I'm going to have to talk to some higher-ups for this. It might take some time as well, you know how busy people can get when running an intergalactic federation, though I think they may take interest in your situation. Of course, if that is alright with you two?

   "It is." Spock answers.

   "Great. How about I just ask a few more questions and then I'll send you guys on your way and contact you when we have it all settled. Don't forget the um..." He squeezes his eyes shut and snaps his fingers aggressively, trying desperately to find the words that slipped his mind. "-marriage certificate! Yes, that's it! Don't forget your marriage certificate either."

  "I won't." Jim assures him. _"Don't forget, Spock."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Itaren, ashaya - Thank you, love  
> Veling, ainama kaifo - Of course, beautiful husband]


	23. An Illogical Question (You Can't Just Ask People That)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was literally posted on my Wattpad over a month ago and I kept on forgetting to post it here to, so I'm very very sorry for that. I'm also going to apologize in advanced for this crack-y filler chapter.

"It's so good to finally see you guys again, you know,  _sober_." Jim smiles as Chekov and Sulu join him on the metal bench seated outside the main building that the academy students had come to refer as the " _Gays Only_ " bench since any combination of the three could be caught residing there, partaking in people watching and outlandish campus gossip like they were ' _The Real Housewives Of Starfleet Academy_ ' which they technically were.

   "I know." Sulu agrees, who planted his butt between his two favourite men. He casually slings his arms on the back of the bench and behind Jim and Chekov-like the true player he makes himself out to be. "I can't believe we haven't had a chance to really talk face to face since you've gotten back. I was beginning to think you've forgotten about us."

   Jim chuckles lightly at Sulu's feigned expression of hurt. "I couldn't forget you even if I tried." He retorts.

   "Good. That's the way it should be." Sulu tries to answer with a playful tone but his genuine anxiety was easily detected. Chekov quietly offers his hand to his husband, which he gratefully accepts.

  There was a long silence that followed as they all contently stared out into the city's extravagant skyline. The sky was clear and celestial blue for once, allowing them a clearer field of view of the horizon than on a typical overcast day.

   "What's sex with a Vulcan like?" Sulu abruptly blurts out; and just when Jim doesn't think his friend could surprise him anymore.

   Chekov drops Sulu's hand. "Hikaru!" His cheeks deepen red as he warningly backhands Sulu on the shoulder. After all this time, how had this pure, flower of a being kept his innocence intact when he was married to  _Sulu._ "You can't just ask people that, it's inappropriate. What would you do if he asked us about our-" he lowers his voice to an almost indistinguishable whisper. "- _sex life?_ " He regretted his question almost immediately, and for a good reason.

   Sulu puffs out his chest out confidently. "Why, my Russian doll, I'd tell him that it's more than satisfactory and that you particularly love it when I-"

  Jim puts his hand over Sulu's mouth. "If you agree never to finish that sentence, I'll tell you every little detail you've ever wanted, got that?" Sulu nods eagerly and Jim removes his hand.

   Chekov looks extremely relieved to have moved on from that can of worms. Okay, maybe Jim was just a  _little_ curious now.

   Sulu leans in with interest. "Does he even  _do_ anything? I've always pictured Vulcans to be so cold and unresponsive, always straight to the point. That can't be any fun, can it?"

   Jim bites his lip and considers if he should 'spill the deets' so to speak. It wasn't exceptionally busy outside that morning so the chances of someone overhearing were slim, and he was only telling his close friends. Besides, Who would they tell? Each other?

Sulu nudges Jim's shoulder eagerly. "Come on,  _tell me_."

   The little resistance that was holding Jim back was frighteningly easy to topple. "Fine. But I swear, if you  _breathe even one word_ to Spock about this I will kill you and your entire family. Okay?"

   "Yes. Complete and utter familicide, I got it!" He remarks, imitating a snarky teen.

   Jim meets eyes with Chekov, silently questioning whether Sulu was usually this stubborn and demanding. Chekov gives him an encouraging thumbs up. Jim's not sure they were on the same page.

   Jim closes his eyes and concentrates on merely peeking into Spock's surface thoughts -it was something he had been learning to do without being detected-  just to be on the safe side. It was uncharacteristically silent, which either meant he was sleeping...or dead. But he himself wasn't dead, so Spock was most definitely asleep. "We're clear. What do you want to know?"

   Sulu seemed briefly overwhelmed by all the possibilities. You could even pinpoint the exact moment a suitable question popped into his mind. "What was your first time like?"

   "The best couple seconds of my life." Jim replies cheekily. To be honest he didn't think he would've lasted so long.  He'd been so on edge for days that all he really needed was a particularly feral Vulcan to devour him with his gaze. Jim didn't really know whether to be proud or ashamed of his record.

Chekov snorts a laugh, now significantly more interested in the topic. "I'd have thought you'd have more in you, Kirk."

"Hey!  _You_  try having your body turn into some overworked hormone factory that is literally blackmailing you into procreating." Jim explains defensively. If Chekov wasn't so damn adorable, he would've ripped off a certain sensitive appendage just for doubting his prowess.

Chekov cleverly backs down.

"Okay, so now that your back normal - well as much as  _you_  can be -whats it like? Or better yet, what's Spocklike in bed?" Sulu asks, bouncing up and down on the spot. His movements would occasionally rock the bench and the metal would scrape against the concrete wall in an unpleasant, gritty sound.

Jim laughs. "Should I be worried about you stealing my man? Because you are  _way_  too thirsty for details."

"Pfft." Sulu rolls his eyes and places a tender hand on Chekov's leg. "Why would I go after your husband when mine is all I've ever wanted and more? It's just that I feel very honoured to be among the sparse group of humans that know what Vulcans get up to while having a little sexy time." Chekov bites his lips as he flushes at his husband's affectionate words towards him. It shouldn't be legal for any two people to be as perfect as they were together.

"It's probably hard for you to believe, but Spock is very...let's say,  _enthusiastic._ " Jim considered his choices of words carefully before going with the least graphic choice.

  Sulu nods. "You're right, I don't believe it."

   "Good. I don't want you picturing these things."

   "Just because I don't believe it doesn't mean I'm not imagining it." Sulu waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

   Jim groans. Why did Sulu have to be so... _Sulu_? "You are so gross."

   Sulu shrugs. "If I'm gross, that makes you even grosser. Everyone in the entire universe knows that you have a fetish for a certain smoking-hot couple-" Chekov attempts to wink, but it just looked like he was having a stroke. "-you don't exactly hide it. What comes around goes around, my friend. I'm just trying to even out the playing field here."

   "Is that what all this is? Self-fulfilled karma?" It made sense, Jim always has been a little flamboyant with his opinions and prying questions. He was relieved that they weren't actually that enthralled by his sex life, but on the other hand, he was slightly offended for the same reason. Why  _weren't_  they curious?

   "Pretty much." Chekov answers. "He mentioned something about getting even once. I didn't think he was actually going to do anything about it. I'm sorry, Jim."

   Jim sighs and relaxes his shoulders. "It's all good Pavel, but since we're already discussing my dirty dancing, feel free to keep the questions rolling."

   "Really?" Both of them ask in unison.

   "Yeah." Jim shrugs. "Why not?"

**•••**

   As it turns out, there were a plethora of reasons why not to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter equivalent of smashing your head on a keyboard. 
> 
> Tune in next chapter for your regularly scheduled plot advancement.


	24. An Illogical Oversight (A Meeting)

   For someone as sharp and observant as Uhura, it sure took an embarrassingly long time for her to fit the pieces together.

   There were so many signs, so many situations witnessed, so many words exchanged just screaming the answer to her and all she did was turn the other way. Now that she had the whole picture, looking back, it was so glaringly  _obvious._

   Jim Kirk mysteriously vanishes after a bizarre incident in the cafeteria only to reappear over a week later with a Vulcan,  _Spock_.

Jim's sudden change of lifestyle. Jim in a  _serious_ monogamousrelationship.

   Spock's blatant favouritism and infatuation with Jim and inability to go any given length of time without mentioning him.

   Everything she needed was  _right there_  and yet she still didn't see it all until now.

   Jim and Spock were in a relationship. And if her cultural studies about Vulcan had taught her one thing, it was that relationships were not taken lightly on Vulcan. Those two were as good as married...if they weren't already.

   On a separate yet similar note, Uhura ponders Professor Turak and Leonard McCoy. They too had disappeared the same day for the same amount of time. Plus there had been some pretty wild rumours rumbling through the student body recently. The only thing that anyone knows for sure is that McCoy sat in on one of his classes, at Professor Turak's desk.

    _What was happening to everyone?_

 

**•••**

 

   Admiral Jennings contacted Jim two whole weeks after their initial meeting to schedule a proper sit down with the academy board and a few Starfleet Admirals to discuss adjustments and changes to regulations regarding advanced telepathy in relationships within academy and starship settings and to create a suitable guideline for Vulcans since there were officially more than one of the species under their command. Unsurprisingly, Turak had also been invited to the meeting for input on the matter.

  Jennings also scheduled an appointment with just Spock and Jim for later that same day to confirm their marital status. Spock had already gotten in touch with his mother about procuring legal documents of their marriage. Typically, Vulcans had no such formalities about marriage, but since Jim was a human and The Federation was a Terran establishment, formalities were to be expected.

   Amanda somehow got hold of a marriage certificate and sent it over to Spock's PADD to be signed. The signing wasn't very dramatic, Spock just quietly slipped his PADD onto Jim's lap while he was studying in his bed. Jim did a quick once-over of the document, noticed Spock's neat signature already scrawled out and signed it himself.

   Spock then passes the PADD to Bones, who only raises his eyebrow in confusion and curiously. He too reads it over and signs his name as a witness without any qualms.

   It was uneventful, but it still managed to leave Jim giddy for the rest of the day.

 

**•••**

 

   "Admiral Jennings." Jim greets at the only familiar face that was sat at an elongated table. They were in the centre of San Fransisco at Starfleet headquarters in a conference room that overlooked the city through floor to ceiling windows. They should really change those, who knows what kind of mutated human could start open firing with a hijacked plane.

   "Kirk." He smiles warmly. "Spock, Professor Turak. It's good to see you all, have a seat. I'd like you to meet Admiral Lui, Admiral Komack and Admiral Barnett, the head of Starfleet's Academy board."

   Jim takes the seat between Spock and Turak. "It's great to finally be here with all of you. It feels like I'm becoming part of history just being in this room."

   Barnett laughs and it's an odd sight to behold. His presence was firm and his appearance was well-built; holding a certain stoicism about it. He was the person you wouldn't expect to be jolly. "Ah, yes. But aren't we already making history with each moment that comes to pass? Anyways, let's get down to business, I'm sure we have plenty to discuss."

 

**•••**

 

   'Plenty to discuss' was a vast understatement. They were three hours into the meeting and they'd just barely scraped the surface of what psionic abilities the Vulcan mind was capable of; such as telepathy, conscious-transferring, telepathic compulsion and the exceptionally rare telekinesis.

   Most of this stuff Jim was hearing for the very first time and it was mind-boggling. It really hit him in that moment that he was married to -for the lack of a better term- an alien. Although Spock was half-human, the only thing human about him was his mother. He was physically and mentally Vulcan, he possessed all Vulcan traits and followed Vulcan customs.

   There was still just  _so much_  that he didn't know about Spock. Jim's good mood falters until Spock wraps himself telepathically around his mind like a fluffy blanket, comforting and warm. " _The day will come when we will know every possible inch of each other's existence. This takes time, my ashaya_."

   If Jim lent his head over the back of his chair with a flush of affection no one paid him any mind. Spock was right, it'd take time and until they're there, he'll soak up whatever scrap of information he could.

   Like, apparently, Spock was so far from normal by Vulcan standards. His level of telepathy shouldn't even be possible. But now that Jim thought about it, it did make sense. If someone told him that two complete strangers, sixteen light years away were linked telepathically, he wouldn't believe it to possible either.

   In another two hours, they discuss Vulcan bonding and mating. It was more of a crash-course of need-to-know information than the long-winded, historical explanation Spock had given him one evening to help him sleep. Jim had mentioned previously that his voice was soothing and helped him relax but it was so fascinating he didn't sleep a wink that night.

   Turak didn't contribute as much to this topic

   Neither Spock nor Turak mentioned Pon Farr by name, they simply referred to it as a Vulcan ritual that takes place approximately every seven years and in that time they need to be taken very seriously without questions. Nobody on the board batted an eye at the vague details or demanded more information. The Federation dealt with thousands of species and nearly all of them had some sort of secret that was kept from outsiders. It was a natural part of any civilization.

   They discuss bonding stipulations for an hour. Any Starfleet bonded Vulcan had to report their relationship status (this was standard in all relationships across all species) and in return, both parties would be guaranteed to be kept together. (Shared lodging, adjacent jobs, same ship assignment). Jim didn't realize how much the fear of separation had been weighing on him until it was gone.

   Now, whatever ship Jim would be given Spock would remain by his side. Jim was radiating so much joy that Spock had to fight back his immediate response to smile.

 

**•••**

 

   Jim was very pleasantly surprised when lunch had was delivered to the conference room and even more surprised when Bones showed up during the break.

   "What are you doing here?" Jim jumps up in his chair but falls when he realizes his feet had fallen asleep. Spock catches him just in time.

   "It's good to see most of you still working. And thanks to that idiot mouth of yours that's always blabbing, I couldn't get any work done in the peace and quiet. So congrats, you've officially ruined everything I've ever held dear." Bones strolls over to the buffet table and picks a few fries off a platter.

   Jim finally regains feeling in his feet and joins Bones over with the food. "I love you too."

   Bones hmphs. "At least have the courtesy to be in a different room then your husband before you go professing your undying love to me."

   "Oh, Bones!" Jim swoons into his best friends personal space. At this point in their friendship, it didn't even phase Bones "No one, not even Spock could ever keep us apart! Our love is too strong, we're meant to be, you and I."

   " _If you do not cease flirting with him immediately, I am fearful Turak will break the table we are using with the sole amount of pressure he is using."_ Spock informs Jim telepathically. He didn't miss the fact that Spock found the situation greatly amusing.

   Jim pulls Bones into a hug, subtlety turning them around so Jim could peek over at Turak, who, sure enough, had his head bowed in concentration and his hand pressed against the tabletop. The skin of his fingers drained of colour from the pressure. Maybe Jim could diffuse the situation a bit?

   Jim pushes Bones away, holding him by his shoulders at an arm's length away. "But alas, you could never have my heart as you've already captured another. And another has mine." This time he was sure to lay on the dramatics extra thick so Bones wouldn't take any of it seriously, while on the other hand, Turak wouldn't pick up on it and just take his words as is.

   "Well, thank you for whatever that was. I'm going to leave now."

   "Do me a favour, check on Turak before you go. It looks like he could use some company." Jim suggests as he refills his plate of food.

   Bones raises his eyebrow in a very Vulcan-influenced way. "Why don't you?"

   "I've got a husband to go crawl back to and beg forgiveness for."

   "Fine." He grumbles as he starts walking over to Turak. Jim does manage to catch the split second of a smile that crept through.

 

**•••**

 

   It was dark out by the time was they concluded the meeting. They'd meet up sometime tomorrow after a good nights sleep to finalize the new regulations. They'd be put into effect in less than a week.

   Starfleet's hope remained high that the new accommodations will draw in more Vulcan applicants. Spock was doubtful it would have any effect on Vulcans whatsoever but Jim remained as brightly optimistic as he always was which made Spock, in turn, a little less 'grumpy' as Bones put it.

   Jim was exhausted, but really truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be coming to an end in a bit, but don't fret, a sequel is already in the works!


	25. An Illogical Development (Boy Talk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my laptop broke and I had to save up for a new computer.   
> I also apologize for posting this a few weeks ago on Wattpad and then repeatedly forgetting to post it here. AHHHhh

 

   Jim doesn't mention the now artificially preserved red rose beside Bones' bed. He doesn't mention the sudden absence of Bones' presence at lunch in the cafeteria. He doesn't even mention the growing academy-wide gossip.

He does, however, mention the toilet seat. And how it was up,  _again_ , and how he fell in,  _again_.

   So when Bones was the one to bring up the seemingly untouchable topic, Jim was indeed. very surprised.

   "I know you already know this, but Turak likes me." Bones breaks the comfortable silence an hour into a study session.

   Jim drops whatever was in his hand and jumps into Bones' bed with him. Was this really going to be the moment that Jim and Bones finally got to gush over cute boys? He must be dreaming. "Of course I knew, how do  _you_ know?"

   "He told me." Bones shrugs nonchalantly, purposefully keeping his voice casual because he knew Jim and he wasn't going to play into whatever fantasy his best friend was no doubt trying to make happen. "Oh, and I'm also letting him try to convince me why we should date." Bones picks at something imaginary on his fingernail. He could feel the bed shake from Jim's excitement.

   "Shut. Up. You. Did.  _Not_." Jim grips his shoulders and as always, he just lets it happen.

   "I did. And he took me on a date." Bones confesses, and okay, maybe he didn't start this conversation with the intention of watching Jim completely break down, but it really was a great bonus. "He made me spaghetti and gave me that rose."

   Jim drops his arms and limply rolls off the side of the bed. He lands face first onto the floor and lays there silently for a few moments. "Spock just asked me if I'm okay." He mumbles into the floor.

   "Frankly, I don't even know what okay is for you anymore." Bones mutters as he shifts his attention back to his study material. He might as well take the time to better his grades while Jim is having a mental crisis on the dirty floor. After all, he'll probably remain there for a while.

   Bones couldn't wait till Jim put himself back together again just so he could tell him that he spent the night at Turak's. Obviously, on the couch, there was no way he'd sleep in Spock's bed and Turak's wasn't even an option, but Jim wouldn't care about that. He'd freak again and Bones would watch him suffer all over again.

   Ahh, aren't best friends great?

 

**•••**

 

   "Is Jim alright?" Turak questions at Spock in the library. Spock's brows were ever so slightly furrowed and his eyes had a far-off quality. It was a telltale sign that Turak had observed when Spock was communicating telepathically with his bondmate. 

  Spock's eyes focus on Turak's. "I am not positive. Jim is lying on the floor. His thoughts are chaotic, nearly indistinguishable. The most consistent words I can ascertain are your name and Bones."

   "Your human is very irrational," Turak responds, flipping a page of a vintage Earth encyclopedia. It wasn't judgmental, merely a fact. "What are the emotions like?" It goes unsaid that he was referring to Jim and their telepathy.

   Spock ponders the question for a moment before settling on an appropriate answer. "It was exceptionally unusual upon the first contact, to have such an untrained and unpredictable mind melding with my own. Yet, at no point has Jim ever imparted a sense of intrusion or discomfort upon me. I cope with his emotions as I cope with mine. Jim is a part of me, without him I am not whole; I accept his every flaw with graciousness and understanding."

   Turak nods once, lips pressed into a hard line. "I would not oppose to accepting Leonard's mind into my own."

   For Vulcans, they really were spilling their hearts out over some stupidly cute boys.

 

**•••**

 

   "Soo _o_...." Jim drawls out expectantly after a full hour facedown on the floor. He'd clawed himself back into Bones' bed like some kind of deranged sea creature emerging from the briny depths for the first time. Mental breakdowns do not help much in the department of looks.

   Bones had already set aside his study notes on his nightstand with an expectant sigh. "Just ask it already, Jim."

"Do you like him?" Jim nudges Bones' shoulder with his own. "Huh?  _Huh?_ "

   "Calm down before you break again. I don't want that hobgoblin of yours hunting me down."

   Jim smiles wickedly. "Well, you've got your own hobgoblin now."

   "He's not my-" Bones sighs. "-we're just friends, Jim. The only feelings that I have for him are strictly platonic."

   Jim shifts nervously on the bed. His gaze was locked on his hands which were also fidgeting. This was never a good sign. "Then why are you doing this? Leading him on? I love you and all, but doesn't that seem a little bit cruel?"

   Realization kicks Bones' in the chest, nearly knocking the wind from him. He felt sick in his stomach. How was it possible that after all the time he'd been spending with Turak, he'd never once thought about Turak's side of things?

   "Damn it. You're right." He admits. "I hate it, but you're absolutely right. I might've just got too caught up in the attention, you know? Things have obviously changed since we'd gotten back from Vulcan; suddenly it felt like I had to share the spot of most important man in your life. But with Turak, I didn't even have to try. He seems to care about me even though I'm just some grumpy old man."

   "Come here, old man." Jim invites him in for a hug and for once, Bones doesn't deny it. "You know Spock will never replace you, it's a scientific fact that my heart is big enough to love the two of you. And I'm happy that you've found comfort outside of your family, even if it is slightly questionable. You just need to set things straight with him, tell him you're not interested; preferably politely."

   "I already have." Bones mumbles into Jim's shoulder.

   "Oh?" He pulls back curiously. "What did he say?"

   "I don't know. I guess, basically that he didn't care and that he'd settle for whatever I could give him even if all I had to offer was friendship."

   "And you made it  _very_ clear about the chances of you recuperating his feelings?"

   "Yes."

   "But you're still letting him hit on you?"

   "...I guess." Bones grumbles.

   Jim hums. "Have you ever considered that maybe your platonic feelings aren't quite as platonic as you'd like to believe?"

   Never.

   ...Maybe

_A very,_ very _small maybe_.

 

**•••**

 

   It was one tiny overlooked detail that completely threw the gossipy social underbelly of the academy into a mad frenzy. Within minutes of the initial discovery, everyone on campus knew that Starfleet's golden boy and resident playboy James T. Kirk was married.

   Jim prided himself on knowing every meticulous detail about the academy, which is why he couldn't believe that something so mundane had completely slipped his mind.

   Every Starfleet personnel had a public record, and, it just so happened that marital status was something that was displayed. It was a common practice to look up someone's record, so really, it was only a matter of time before someone would stumble upon that particular nugget of wisdom. And boy, did it spread like wildfire.

**~**

   "Hey." Uhura greets Spock as she slips into her usual seat beside him in one of the few classes they shared together. Sulu and Chekov had taken to sitting directly behind them, stating that ' _they were totally_ not _copying off their notes_ ' "So I guess the news is out, huh?" She inquires causally, gaze cast forward but making sure to catch the Vulcan equivalent of surprise from her peripheral view.

   "I am unsure to what you are referring too." Spock queries with an impressive level of aloofness that Uhura would've fallen for if she wasn't so certain in her assumption. The frantic, hushed whispering behind her only solidifying her theory.

   Uhura lowers her voice so no one would overhear. "I know you and Jim are married. I'm really happy for you both."

   Spock sits up straighter, fixing his gaze firmly ahead at the professor, even though she hadn't started her lecture yet. "Where were you informed of this information?"

   "I'm not blind Spock, I had my suspicions for a while. But everyone knows that Jim is married now, some girl found it on his public record. If it helps, no one knows it's to you."

   "Oh." His eyebrow shot up in surprise. Spock shouldn't have been surprised, he knew that their secrecy was merely a temporary situation. And when they did chose to publicly acknowledge their relationship, I would most likely end up being meticulously planned,  carefully executed; controlled.

  This was the opposite of controlled.

Uhura silently places a delicate and reassuring hand on Spock's shoulder. Spock greatly appreciated the comfort.

 

**•••**

 

  In a lecture room halfway across campus, Jim was absolutely bombarded. His professor had long since departed in utter exasperation.

   The crowd around Jim was several people thick and so close, that he couldn't extend his arm fully if he wanted to. On the upside, they were surprisingly courteous about asking questions in turn, just not slow enough to give him any actual time to respond.

   "Is it true you're actually married?"

   "When was the wedding? And why wasn't I invited?"

   "Is this why you stopped answering my calls? Is what we have between us really over? Or are you still allowed to have some fun on the side?"

   Jim was resoundingly bewildered, but his confusion was not left uncleared for very long. He could feel Spock reach out to him with poorly hidden trepidation.  _"What's going on, Spock?"_

    _"Do not fret, ashayam_ ," Spock answers, his minds voice like a soothing salve to Jim's worries. He tries his best to send a similar sensation back and is rewarded by a gentle laugh on Spock's end that puts them both at ease. It was a sound only he was privy to hear.  _"I have been informed by Uhura of a rather unforeseen event."_

    _"Care to elaborate there, Spock?"_

_"It appears that someone has discovered that you are married."_  
  
 _"What? How?"_ Jim flits through the last few months since returning back to Earth. He didn't think he'd done anything remotely suspicious. Spock certainly didn't, and sure, Pavel and Hikaru liked to talk up a storm but he knew they would never break his trust.

_"Your Starfleet personnel profile."_

_"   Shit! I'm so sorry, Spock! I can't believe I forgot about that! I'll try to clear this up as soon as possible. I'll talk to someone higher up but if worst comes to worst I can always hack into the system and play it off as some prank-"_

   There's a sudden rolling wave of amusement.  _"Jim, need I remind you that you were the one to originally propose the idea of nondisclosure?"_

_"Yes, but you agreed to it. You said it was logical."_

_"It may have been logical, but you have taught me that what is logical is not always the preferable option."_

Jim nearly gasps aloud.  _"Wait, so you don't care about people knowing?"_  
  
 _"Your reasoning was that I needed time to settle. I believe I have sufficiently settled. I do not mind the public knowing that it is I that belongs to you."_

    _"If you don't mind, I'm now going to scream at every person I see and tell them you're my husband and that I love you."_

_"Please do not."_ Spock pauses _. "I love thee too."_  
  
   He feels Spock pull back slightly and Jim focuses back on on the real world. Everyone around him had grown quiet, staring at him with varying degrees of worry. He'd been silent for an unusual amount of time. "Hmm?"

   Everyone visibly relaxes with his lacklustre response. "It says that you're married on your personnel file. Is it true?" A man asks from the front.

   Jim takes in the attention and smirks. His hands were held behind his head as he leans further down in his seat. "You really want to know the truth?" Several exasperated yeses could be heard. "I am married. But you're just going to have to figure out to who."


End file.
